Forgive me
by AuroraSinclair
Summary: Momo opened her eyes and felt nothing but guiltm But as she lives her life someone helps her learn to live again.
1. Chapter 1

A new life

Chapter 1

I don't own Bleach (God I wish it was my idea)

The last thing I saw was blood, my own blood all around me and then darkness. I sat alone in that darkness for what seemed like years thinking about how I ended up all alone with nothing to live for. Captin Hitsugaya he was on my mind a lot we sure have come a long way for me calling him Lil' Shiro and I know he hated that. I have no right to call him that now not after I put my Zanpakutō to him.

The reason that I'm here in this darkness Aizen my captain…ha! If I can even call him that any longer. I really should anugery at him after all he betrayed me for his own needs and stabed me with his Zanpakutō. I'm sure that when I find my way out…if I find my way out of this darkness I'll have a scar from that. But it's not that scar that I'm worried about. I'm more worried about how this is going to affect me mentally. I greatly admired that mad and he used and betrayed me.

I keep hearing Captin Hitsugaya voice in the distance begging me to open my eyes and yet I can't. Can't or wouldn't I don't know! I don't want to see the world that is on the other side of this darkness! But yet Tōshirō voice sounds so sad! Like that if I don't open up my eyes he's not going to be happy ever again. I then realize that it's very cold in the room…wait room.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes wasn't darkness but a soft light and the back of a man's head. White hair…I know who that is…

"Captain Hitsugaya?" I asked

He turned around and looked at me! I haven't seen him smile in a long time sometimes I wounder if I've ever seen him smile but there it was.

"Momo!" He breathed "you're awake!"

He took one step and was righ by my side. He took my hand and looked into my eyes I swear that it looked like he was about to start to cry.

"How long have I been in 4th Division?" I asked pulling my hand away from his "the last thing I saw was blood and now the back of you're head"

I gave him a small smile, I looked away from him green eyes. I couln't look at them they made me feel guilty from not opening my eyes sooner.

"um…a wile" He stated "I'm going to go get captain Unohana I'll be right back."

I watched as he walked out of the room. I don't know why but I felt better now that he was gone. I felt so guilty and I didn't know why. It wasn't long before captain Unohana walked into the room looking very pleased to see me awake.

"Welcome back Lieutenant Hinamori" she said to me with a worm smile

"Momo" I corected her "I'm no lieutenant"

I saw Tōshirō behind Captain Unohana look sadly at me and walk out of the room. I looked down and felt myself cry a little I was upset that he left me in this room.

"He hadly ever left you're side" she explained to me "I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about once you have left. But I'm not going to clear you for work for a long time you have a lot of healing to do first."

"I…um have a request to make" I stated as the 4th Division captain nodded her head "I don't want to go near the 5th division please don't make me."

Captain Unohana just gave me a small smile and left the room. I puched myself so that I could sit up and look out the window. It was a beatiful day out in the Sereitei but to me it was just the sun. I was looking out of the window long when Tōshirō walked back into the room. He gave me a small smile and sat down next to me and didn't say one word to me. That was normal but for some reason it felt like there was something wrong.

"Captian Hitsugaya?" I asked

"Yes Momo" he said looking at me like I had said something funny

"I'm sure you have better things to do then sit here with me." I said "shouldn't you get back to the 10th division"

He just sighed at me and looked out the window as if knowing that I was trying to get him to leave.

"I left Matsumoto with the paper work." Tōshirō said to me "Why are you trying to get me to leave Momo?"

"No reason" I sigh "I'm just tired that's all"

He nodded his head, stood up and walked to the door.

"When they let you out you're going to come to the 10th division to say" He told me "I'm not letting you go back to the 5th anytime soon."

"Yes Captain Hitsugaya" I said "I too want nothing to do with that place"

I said that last part more for me then for him but it was out in the open now. Tōshirō though looked at me like I had something wrong. I couldn't bring myself to call him Tōshirō or Lil' Shiro. I just didn't feel wourthy of it I was no friend to him not anymore I couldn't be. Why would he want me as one after what happoned. I don't know how long I sat looking out at nothing when of all people Rukia Kuchiki walked into my room.

"well look who's awake" She asked me "I know Renji will be happy to see you up and about it's a shame a bunch of us are going to be leaving for the world of the living soon or I'd have you come and stay with me until you're ready to rejoin."

All she did was smiled at me and it meade me feel so much better no longer feeling guilty after all I didn't try to kiil her.

"Besides you'll have the 10th all to yourself " Rukia smiled "I'm sure Captain Hitsugaya will have you staying in his room until he gets back."

"To tell you the truth Rukia I don't want to go" I said sadly "I did a really bad thing to him and here he is acting like nothing happened. why can't he be mad at me I'd feel better if he yelled at me or froze me or something I just feel like I'm not moving "


	2. Chapter 2

Note: I follow more of the manga then the show.

I smells safe

Chapter 2

I don't own Bleach (God I wish it was my idea)

I stayed in the 4th Division for a week after Captain Hitsugaya, Rangiku Matsumoto, Ikkaku Madrame, Yumicjika Ayasegawa, Renji Abarai and Rukai Kuchiki left to go to the world of the living. I couldn't tell you why I was putting it off but I just couldn't make leave. I got the hint that it was time for me to leave after they sent Izuru in to get my things and take me to the 10th.

"Come on Momo it wouldn't be that bad" Izuru told me as we walked slowly to the 10th Division "You'll get to stay in the captain's room that has to be a lot better then what we as Lieutenants get to stay in. And I'll stop by and see you all the time. You just need to work on getting yourself back to...well you."

"You're sweet Izuru" I said in a whisper "But I don't know if I'll ever be able to be her again. Although Aizen didn't kill me I believe he was able to kill the easy-going Momo."

We didn't say anything to each other the rest to the walk. I could tell that he was feeling guilty for his hand in what happened.

"It wasn't you're flat" I stated when we reached the door to the 10th. "You where just doing as Captain I mean Gin Ichimaru told you to do. You where just following orders."

"You should take your own advice Momo" Izuru said as he pushed the door open "We both know that you would never try to kill Captain Hitsugaya. It was all Aizen forgive yourself Momo and get back to your life."

He helped me into Captain Hitsugaya room and made sure I was settled before he left me alone with my thoughts. In the weeks sense I woke up I was alone with my thoughts way to much. I had a few visitors Renji stopped by everyday and sometimes he'd have Rukai with him. On a said note I think that those two are getting a little closer sense we were at school. But that is not the point...Captain Hitsugaya would stop by every night and see me and Izuru stopped by everyday as well. It wasn't until the day that the group left for the world of the living did I have a visitor that had never thought I'd see. General Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai or in other worlds Capetian of the 1st Division. He told me that I would take as long as I needed. I asked to me removed from the 5th as Lieutenant and transferred. All he could say to that was that he would see. The old man had his plan I my needs didn't matter in the plan. I ended up being board out of my mind two days alone in that room so I found my own from by looking through Captain Hitsugaya things. I am a girl after all and we can't help it. I found myself in his closet when Izuru walked into the room.

"Momo" He called "I know you're in here they called me and told me that you haven't left once sense they dropped you off."

"I just can't bring myself to leave" I said still in the closet "I thought that if I was...never mind"

I walked out of the closet.

"What may I ask where you doing in the closet?" He asked me with a knowing look on his face.

"Nothing" I stated "I was just...it smells safe alright"

Izuru laugh holding onto his sides. I put my hands on my hips and looked at him.

"Yes it's so funny" I snapped "What do you want anyway"

"Momo" he laughed "that was the cutest thing I think I ever herd you say. Come on here going for a walk into the Rukongai it'll do you some good. So come on and get changed I'll wait for you out side"

I couldn't help the small smile that crossed my lips as he walked out of the room. I walked back into the closet and changed for a day in the Rukongai. I couldn't stop myself but before I left the room I pulled one of Captain Hitsugaya's captain haori to my face and smelled it. I know it sounds a little creepy but I still wasn't in my right mind yet. I walked out of the room slid the door closed and left with Izuru. And for the first time the last thing on my mind wasn't what I had done or all the guilt that I felt I was just able to well be Momo again.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: I follow more of the manga then the show.

Looks like everyone is back

Chapter 3

I don't own Bleach (God I wish it was my idea)

I spent the next week just walking around with Izuru. Although we had said all that I thought that was needed to be said it still seemed to me that he was trying to make up for what was done. After a week of having him with me I made up my mind to go off on my own one night. I was walking with no real place in mind I just kept walking. It wasn't until I reached the 5th that I realized that it was now or never. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. I took a deep breath and walked into my old room. No one had touched anything and everything was as I left it. I picked up my old Lieutenant badge and I sighed. I picked up my zanpakuto it was still covered in my own blood. I looked at it put it into my belt and walked out of the room. I know that I was going to have to clean it but it felt so good to have it back in my hands. I told myself that I was going to start tomorrow.

I was walking back to the 10th when I saw Renji and Rukai talking to each other in front of the 6th Division. What got me thinking was that I know that the two of them where in the world of the living helping Ichigo. All I know about Ichigo was from what both Renji and Rukai had told me about him. From the look of the two they where fighting rather then talking. I wondered if the fight was about said living boy. I had a feeling that Renji was worried that Rukai had feelings for Ichigo. I tried to sneak past them with Renji yelled over at me.

"Momo" Renji yelled at me "are you coming from the 5th division? what in the hell are you doing there? have you lost you're mind I thought Izuru was going to stay with you so that you wouldn't go in alone."

"Don't mind this ass" Rukai stated

From the way that they looked at each other I had a feeling that they where now more then just friends. It was good to see that they where able to patch up all the things that they had lived though.

"I'm fine Renji" I stated with a small smile "It wasn't a big deal I just went and got my zanpakuto."

"Is that blood" Renji asked "Is that you're blood from when Aizen attacked you? Why haven't you cleaned it yet?"

"I just went and got it today" I stated "I plan to clean it tomorrow. Then I'm going to start training again"

"That's good to hear" Rukai stated "Would you like us to walked you back to the 10th"

I shock my head and smiled turning and walking away.

"have a good night you two" I smile "Don't so anything I wouldn't do"

"MOMO" They both yelled

I didn't look at them I know that Renji's face now matched his hair. I didn't get to far when I herd Rukai start to talk to Renji again.

"She looks almost back to normal" She said to him "And if she has her zanpakuto then it must mean that she might be ready to return to work. Maybe I should talk to my brother and see if she can be place under him that way he can keep an eye on her while you and I are in Hueco Mundo."

"No Captain Hitsugaya will look after her. He'll look after her after all they grew up together just like we did and I take care of you don't I?" Renji stated

"If you called that little stunt with Ichigo at the sokyoku then I hope that Captain Hitsugaya does a better job." Rukia joked "Although I'm sure my brother is better..."

"I don't think you're brother is going to want to do us any favors when he realizes that you and I are headed into Hueco Mundo."

"I guess you're right" Rukai sighed "I'll see you later I'm going home"

I thought that it was very sweet of Rukia to offer to talk to her brother for me but I was able to look after myself. After all as soon as Captain Hitsugaya returned I'd leave the 10th for a new division. I wasn't about to play the I need someone to take care of me card I had all I could take of it at that point. But then again I did understand why everyone wanted to. I looked up to Aizen from the moment I meet him when I was at school and to have that taken away from me it was like having the bubble popped and I had lost a lot of faith in who I was for not being able to see him for who he really was. but then again deep down I didn't want to believe that it was real that this was all just a bad dream. That I'd open my eyes and none of this would have happened. That Aizen didn't do any of that and if he did it was Gin that made him do that.

I got back to the 10th and got ready for bed. I put the fact that Rukai and Renji where back in the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about it I just wanted to go to sleep. I was going to get up early in the morning and go and work out with Izuru and the 3rd. I wanted to get back to being a working member of 13 court guard squads. I was done with sitting around and If Aizen wanted to finish the job I'd give him one hell of a fight to do it. I realized that it was time to get my Bankai if a war was coming I know where I was going to stand. I crawled into the center of the bed and pulled the blanket over me.

I used to be a sound sleeper I mean I would sleep through wetting the bed when I was younger hence that stupid nick name that Captain Hitsugaya would call me. 'bed wetter Momo' that is the reason why I called him 'Lili Shiro' it make him mad just like being called 'bed wetter Momo' made me mad. I was even joked that I'd sleep through a boom going off and not even roll over. But ever since the day with Aizan and the slightest sound would wake me up. Needless to say I was woken up a hour or so later to the sound to two people talking outside the door. I rolled over and saw two shadows on the door.

"That was the longest meeting I've ever sat through" The tall shadow said. witch turned out to be Matsumoto "And in this silly school girl uniform too. Let me guess you want me in the office doing paper work early in the morning."

"Don't over sleep" the short shadow said with spiky hair that I know at once to be Captain Histsugaya as the door started to slide open "good night"

"You're going in?" She asked him "isn't Momo asleep in there?"

I herd him give a small laugh.

"I'm just going into get a change of cloths" He told her "I'm sleeping on the couch in the office tonight but I'm not staying in this get up any longer then I have to."

I herd the door open all the way and I rolled onto my back and acted like I was asleep. I say him walk into the room and look at me. I was shocked to see the small smile that crossed his lips. He looked around the room he walked over to my zanpakuto and picked it up. I wasn't sure if it was happy that I had it or mad that I had it I couldn't tell. The his face changed when he realized that it still had my blood on it and the room started to get cold. I realized that he was mad. I opened my eyes fully and looked at him.

"Oh Captain Histsugaya" I said "You're back"


	4. Chapter 4

Note: I follow more of the manga then the show.

Not my Captain

Chapter 4

I don't own Bleach but if I did I would have this going on.

"Oh Captain Histsugaya" I said "You're back"

I looked at him and his clothing. He was still dressed in the cloths that he wore in the world of the living. I couldn't believe that thought that then crossed my mind I wandered if he was planing to keep it so I could see him in it again. But that wasn't what made me really look at him. It was the look on his face. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. I sat up in his bed and looked at him again he then shoved my zanpakuto in my face like I had done something wrong with it being here.

"What's wrong" I asked "I thought that you'd be glad that I had it."

"Why is it still covered in your blood?" He demanded

"Because I just got it from the 5th tonight" I said getting on my knees reaching for it "I was going to clean it in the morning."

Once again he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I sighed and reached out to take it from him but he pulled it out of my reach.

"You went to the 5th tonight?" He yelled "What where you thinking Momo?"

"That I should get it over with" I said plain as day getting to my feet "I was the 5ths lieutenant after all and I had a lot of my things still there! I'm capable of walking around soul society I don't need a baby sitter Captain Histugaya."

I reached out and yanked my zanpakuto out of his hands and put it with my things. He stood there rooted looking at me like I had just crossed a really big line.

"I think you do need one Momo after all I had to save your life" He stated

When he said that he crossed the line forget that we grew up together, forget that he was the first person I saw when I woke up. It all mattered little to the fact that he just through that into my face.

"I didn't ask you to" I stated "If I wanted your help I would have asked you for it!"

"Just go back to sleep" he ordered me "you and I WILL be talking in the morning."

I was floored he was pulling rank on me. He was ordering me around like i was a member of the 10th. I mean I know that he could pull a little rank he was a Captain and there for of a higher rank but all orders from other captains had to be cleared through the person's Captain. Or in other words Hitsugaya would have had to ask Aizan for me to do something if the old man hadn't ordered it.

"I beg your pardon" I snapped at him

"You herd me" he ordered walking into his closet "go back to sleep you look like hell"

That was it for me. I lost it I was so mad that I wanted to hit him across his white spiky haired head face. I thought that I had come a long way from how I looked the first few days after I woke up. And the fact that he said that crossed the line again. I bent down and picked up my things and marched to the door.

"I do not look like hell" I yelled at him "I've come a long way since you last saw me for your information. It's not my fault that you've been playing around in the world of the living all of this time. Toshiro!"

I know it sounds bad but it felt so good to yell at someone. It felt so good to let it all out and it just look like Captain Hitsugaya was the person that I took it out on.

"Hey" He yelled back "Mind your manners It's CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!"

"Oh you can take you're title and shove it" I snapped back "You may be a captain but you are NOT MY CAPTAIN!"

It got so cold in that room that I could see my breath. But I didn't care I wanted to get as far away from him and that room as I could. I walked to the door cloths and zanpakuto in hand. I reached over to the door and was about to pull it open when it was frozen shout with a thick layer of ice covering it.

"You're right I'm not your captain" He yelled at me "your captain tried to kill you damn near came close to it too if I hadn't been there you would have died. Why are you being so ungrateful"

"Ungrateful?! Do you want a think you for saving my life?" I Yelled at him

I turned around and bowed to him.

"Thank You Captain Hitsugaya" I stated straighting up "for saving my life. But I am no longer that little girl that would call you lil' Shiro even though I know you hated it. I've never been helpless and you shouldn't treat me as so."

Captain Hitsugaya looked like me saying lil' Shiro made his night. A small smile crossed his lips the second that I said that.

"Just go back to sleep Momo" He sighed at me "Stop fighting me and just do what I say"

I looked at him like he lost his mind and I nudged the door with my said like I was telling him that I wasn't going to do what he wanted I still have no idea why I was being so willful but I didn't want to do what he told me to do.

"I'll fight you all I want" I snapped "unfreeze the damn door I'm going back to the 5th"

Ice formed on the floor when I said that. His hands clenched into fists with white knuckles. He walked at me, he was two maybe one step from being in my face and I did the first thing that came to me mind.

"THRUST" I yelled the kido spell at and he was pushed back to the other wall. I turned to the door "BAKUDO 33 RED FLAME CANNON!"

The door exploded and I started to walk out the door. I was maybe two steps out the door.

"STRIKE!" Captain Hitsugaya yelled at me

I was engulfed in a red light and I couldn't move. He had never used a kido on me before! He hit me the one time but that was because well I was trying to kill him. Something I'm not really proud of. I watched as he walked up to me with a look that I didn't like. He was mad...no he wasn't mad he was pissed. I had never seen him look like that before.

"You want to use kido on me then fine" He stated "But you really should wait to used it until you're at full strength Momo. When was the last time? Before you work up...I'd say right before you went into that comma?"

That felt like a taunt! He walked around me and I felt like I was being being stocked like I was his pray. Why was he looking at me like that? I mean I know that I wasn't being a good soul reaper after all. Getting into a fight with a Captain, yelling at a Captain and then using kido on said Captain. If he wanted to I could be put back into jail for a long time. I didn't think that he was going to but then again all I could tell you was what I thought. I tried to get out of his kido spell but he was right after all I still wasn't at my full strength.

"Let me go Captain Hitsugaya" I demanded

Before I could do anything it fell I looked at him nodded my head in thanks and I started to walk away. I wasn't far when Captain Hitsugaya flashed stepped in front of me with a sigh.

"Get back to the 10th Momo" He ordered me

"Stop ordering me around Hitsugaya" I said softly "You're not my captain. I don't want to be at the 10th if you're going to be there. I shouldn't be able to be there...just let me go"

That was the first time that I let him know that I really felt guilty about everything. His angry look in his eyes softened and he was looking at me with a much softer look. He took a step to me and pulled me into a hug. I wasn't sure of what to do so I tried to push him off of me but he only held me closer to him. For a brief moment I let myself enjoy his arms around me and his smell but I really couldn't enjoy it.

"Please let me go" I said

"Why?" He asked "It looks like you need a hug"

I tried to push him again when I felt a small scar on his chest and I looked up at him.

"Is that from Aizen?" I asked

"Yeah" was all he said

I pulled away from him. I looked down at the ground and felt the tears fall from my eyes. I still have no idea how I can go from pissed to sad like that. I'm sure it's a girl thing. and maybe all the guilt.

"That is why I don't want to be around you" I said "I almost cost you you're life already I can not live with myself if I really did have a hand in your death."

"Stop that Momo" he said "You and I grew up together I'm always going to try to take care of you, protect you and Kill that bastard for you. Nothing you say is ever going to chance that. So just come back to the 10th and go back to sleep. I don't want you alone at the 5th...please I don't want you alone."

I gave a small smile.

"But I was alone the whole time you where gone" I said

"No you where not" He said "Izuru was staying here and keeping any eye on you for me. You where never alone I know your every move Momo. And before you say anything I know you think you don't need a babysitter but I watched you almost die once I don't think that I could do it again."

I let him pull me back to the 10th only because I felt like that If I didn't it would lead to more trouble and another kido fight that I didn't want to deal with. He fixed the door and stood there watching me get back into the bed. I rolled over onto my side not wanting to look at him. My life really was a mess. And it felt like the steps that I took in the time that he was gone where all wiped away.


	5. Chapter 5

Eating Me Alive

Chapter 5

I don't own Bleach

* * *

I woke up early that morning to find that I was along in the room. I got dressed and collected my things. once I was sure that I had everything I pushed the door open and walked out. I looked to the left to where the 10ths office was I wanted to make sure that I could get out without him seeing me. I know it was childish but I just couldn't talk to him, look at him, touch him anything. I slid the door shout and was about to walk out of the 10th when a hand grabbed my arm. I jumped and turned around to see Matsumoto looking at me with a small smile. 

"trying to sneak out are you." She said it me "come on lets go and get some lunch looks like you need someone to talk to that isn't Toshiro or Izuru"

"um...no...It's only 10:15 in the morning" I tried "isn't lunch a more after noon thing"

She looked at me with that you can't get out of it look.

"that or I can take you into that office and tell him that you where trying to sneak out." she said "you think that little fight last night was bad I shutter to think how bad it would if he found out about you trying to sneak out."

I heaved a big sigh and nodded my head. She grabbed my arm drag me out of the 10ths office pushing it open. at first i thought that she was going to rat me out until she stopped at the door.

"Toshiro" She yelled in "I'm taking Momo to lunch we'll see you later"

I was worried that he was going to come out and talk to us but he didn't.

"Don't get drunk we have a lot of paper work to fill out." was all he said

The next thing I know I was dragged out of the 10th and out to lunch. I sat pushing my food around not really eating it. As she looked at me with her blue eyes and I felt myself really not want to be there any longer.

"OK Momo talk to me" She said after a moment "I know that this isn't about you trying to have Independence as a few have suggested. And I'm sure that there is more to this then Aizan...I promise that I wouldn't tell anyone what you tell me."

"Captain Hitsugaya" I said

Matsumoto chocked on her tea and looked at me through shocked eyes.

"Toshiro?" She asked "What about him?

"He almost died" I said fighting back my tears "I mean I know that it comes with our job and it's part of the life that we lead but I'll be damned if he puts himself in a place like that because of me again. I couldn't live with myself if he dies, died because of me."

Matsumoto looked at me again with a thoughtful look on her face. she smiled as she reached out and grabbed my had.

"I've know Toshiro for a wile now!" She said to me "Not as long as you have...but I can tell you this... he's more protective of you then anyone in the whole of soul society. He puts himself in that place because that's just how he is."

"Over protective!" I sighed

we both laughed and it felt good.

"that he is but it's more then that Momo" She sighed "I saw him when you where in the 4th it was like he was running on auto polite. He was there but he wasn't at the sometime. he wouldn't yell at me for not doing my half of the paper work, when he wasn't at the 10th he would be at the 4th with you I would OK so I would eavesdrop when he would talk to you. He would talk about when you where kids and what it was like for him when you left him for school and how this was so much harder for him. He wanted you to open you're eyes and he even said that if you did you could call him Lil' shiro all you wanted."

"this just adds to it" I said now crying

"Adds to what?"

I looked up at her through my tears

"the guilt" I said "the guilt that's eating me alive Matsumoto."

"then don't let it." She said to me "What's done is done. Stop dwelling on it. Aizan betrayed you, tried to kill you yes. But look at me and Izuru. Gin was my childhood friend much like you and Toshiro. He was Izuru's Captain and true he didn't try to kills us I'm sure that if we got in his way he would have. what about Captain Sajin Komamura he was a close friend to Captain Kaname we've all felt the bash of this. The difference is...you where damn near close to death because of it all."

I looked at her and took a bight of my food. It was good to be reminded about the fact that there where other that where going through all this at the same time.

"You're not alone in this Momo" She said with a smile "You have me, Izuru and Toshiro. So stop trying to do this alone! Let those that love you help you."

We ate the rest of are meal not talking. She and I walked back to the 10th together talking about Captain Hitsugaya.

"I always had a feeling that he would end up a captain." I told her "when we where little we would sit and eat watermelon and his pile was always so much bigger then mine and I was going to school. I would talk and talk and he would spit the seeds at me...you know now that I look back on it I think he did that to get me to stop talking about it. I do tend to talk a lot."

We reached the 10th I kind of kept back not wanting to really go in and see him. Matsumoto looked at me and smiled taking my hand.

"I have to go back in but you don't" She said to me "you can keep right on walking about go about you day. But sooner or later you're going to have to talk to him. and just between us girls better sooner rather then later."

She left me outside of the 10th. I really had to made up my mind about this. I was about to walk off when I realized something...it hit me like a ton of bricks. Could the reason that he would go to all that for me was because he thought of me as more then just a friend?

"That can't be it" I said out loud

It was in that moment I felt sad that I had just tried to tell myself that he couldn't. I felt my eyes open with shock. That was the reason that he's smell made me fell so safe, why I felt so guilty, why the thought of him dieing because of me hurt me so much and why I fought him so hard the night before. I looked at the door to the 10th took a deep breath and pushed it open. I walked to the office door and knocked.

"Yeah" Captain Hitsugaya said

"5th division lieutenant Momo Hinamori" I stated "asking permission to enter sir"

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

I Promise

I don't own Bleach

* * *

"5th division lieutenant Momo Hinamori" I stated "asking permission to enter sir." 

I stood there for what felt like an hour until he pushed open the door. He looked at me like I had lost my mind again. I sure was getting that look a lot from him now a days.

"I thought you left the 5th" He asked

"Until I'm told other wise that is still my title sir" I said "last night you said we would be having a talk today."

I waited for him to say something anything. He pushed the door all the way open and walked back into the office. So I took that as my Que to follow him in. Matsumoto got up walked for the door stopping by me giving me a Small smile and winking at me. I took that one look to tell me that I was taking the right step.

"I'm sorry about the fight last night Captain Hitsugaya" I began "I know better then to attack a captain and I'm sorry to say that I've done it to you twice. I'm sorry..."

"I don't care Momo" Toshiro said

I smile a little, same old Toshiro cold as ice.

"I would also like to thank you for coming to my rescue when Aizen tried to kill me. Although you really had no reason to jump in and do that" I stated "I'm also sorry that you where hurt in process."

"No reason?" He asked

The room got cold again. I sighed this wasn't how I wanted this talk to go I was going to pour my heart out to him tell him everything about how I felt. But he was just taking it the wrong way.

"Why would you think I have to reason to protect you Momo" He snapped at me

"What reason do you have to want to protect me then" I sighed "Were just childhood friends...am I right?"

The look on his face said it all I was right he was holding something from me.

"Is that what you think?" He asked me "That you're just my childhood friend"

"I don't know Lil' Shiro" I said "The truth is when I was a asleep I was trapped in a world of darkness and it seemed the only thing that kept me for losings my mind was the sound of your voice. Talking about some of my old childhood memories, watermelons and me leaving for school."

I saw his eyes light up when I called him by the old nick name. The next thing I know I was being hugged by him again. I didn't try to fight it this time.

"I want you to know Momo" He cut me off "You don't have to do this alone I'm right here for you. You can have my room as long as you want I don't want you alone."

"I know that I'm not but now that I'm awake" I said into his shoulder "I feel so guilty for everything. attacking Izuru, believing that letter and attacking you. I've attacked you my oldest friend twice. You where my best friend growing up and even when we where children I had a hard time reading you. You are a lot like your zanpakuto cold. But that has never stopped me has it. I would still just show up and bug the hell out of you. And now I realize something Aizen did something good when he tried to kill me."

He gave me that look again. I couldn't help the small laugh.

"Don't give me that look" I stated "the funny thing about betrayal..."

"Momo" He cut me off again

I sighed I reached out and touched his arm and he looked up at me.

"The funny thing about betrayal" I tried again "is that you can finally see what's in front of you. I've had it rough for a wile now but the one that that has always been there. Has been you Toshiro. You made sure that I wasn't alone while you where in the world of the living, that I wouldn't have to be alone in at the 5th and after that fight you didn't force me to talk to you then you let Matsumoto knock some since into me. You are a good man and a great leader!"

"I don't feel like a good man" He said to me "But I can promise you this! That I'll make this right so that your soul isn't fighting this fight anymore and so that I can see you smiling face again. I miss seeing that Momo."

I don't know what came over me but I pulled away and kissed him right there on his lips. I opened my eyes and pulled away quickly blushing.

"I'm sorry" I sighed "I shouldn't have Done that"

The next thing I know he pulled me back into another kiss. When I pulled away this time I looked at him and smiled my big old smile.

"The reason why I fight so hard for you is because you have always been more then just my childhood friend" Toshiro stated "Now about you're living arguments...until you are told to return to the 5th you're staying with me."

He said that last part wile kissing my nose.

"Is that an order sir" I asked taking his hand in mine

"How about we call it a request" He said with a small smile

I smiled again and let go of his hand walking away from him.

"I'll see you tonight then" I said opening the door and walking out.

"Oh and Momo" He called to me

I turned and looked at him.

"Don't wet the bed" He said with a small laugh

"I promise" was all I said

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

The Meeting

I don't own Bleach

* * *

As the day went on I found myself sitting by the lake cleaning my zanpakuto thinking about the fact that I just kissed Toshiro. I felt like such a little girl the way I kept replaying it in my mind. It took me a lot longer to clean it because I was day dreaming way to much when I finally realized that I was almost done cleaning it I started to notes a lot of hell butterflies flying around. I started to watch with great interest as several of the reaming captains walked by. For about three hours I didn't see any of them but then I saw Toshiro walk by looking rather pleased with himself. I decided that I had enough of Captain watching and headed back to the 10th. I was able to see it when I had a hell butterfly hover in front of me. 

"Lieutenant Momo Hinamori" the message stated "You are needed at a meeting in one hours time. Come in full uniform and badge."

That didn't give me much time. I rushed off to the 10th and Toshiro's room I grabbed my uniform and through it on. I didn't have time to put my hair up how I normally do it but I didn't really want to so I left it in the ponytail it was in. and I ran out the door I was half way where the meeting was going to be at when I realized I didn't have my badge and had to turn around head to the 5th then Matsumoto stopped me.

"I bet you'll be needing this" She said with a smile.

"Thanks" I said "for everything by the way you where right"

She just smiled at me as we started to walk to the meeting together.

"So are you two all yelled out" She asked me

"I hope so" I smiled

"How about all kissed out?"

I stopped at looked at her. I'm sure I had a shocked look on my face.

"what makes you say that?" I asked

"Oh please" She said "I've been telling him for over a year to just kiss you and be done with it. All I ask is that you two keep it down at night I need my sleep."

I didn't know what to say to that. That still hadn't even crossed my mind. I mean I know it would happen one day but I was thinking maybe after a dinner and maybe after he told me that he loved me.

"I think that we have a wile before that" I said barley above a whisper

We turned and found are selves standing with every Lieutenant...well except for Renji who was in Hueco Mundo. I didn't want to talk about my kiss with Toshiro so I looked around found who I was looking for and walked over to Izuru.

"It's good to see the old Momo back" He said with a smile "that fight you had with Captain Hitsugaya must have done you some good. Is it true that you used Thrust on him?"

"Does everyone know about that?" I asked "Do you have any idea what this meeting is about?"

Izuru looked at me and then at all the lieutenants. Just then Yumichika Ayasegawa walked up to the group of us. He walked over to his lieutenant and started to talk to her.

"Isn't that the 5th seat of the 11th division?" I asked Izuru "why would he be here if this is a lieutenant meeting"

"I don't think it is Momo" Izuru stated "I think we're seeing a new lieutenant being badged today."

We both looked at him. I remember when that was me I couldn't help be be scared as I stood there as Aizan handed me my badge.

"I had no idea he was going for that?" I said

"Me either" Izuru said "But I don't think we have much of a choice now. I herd that when Renji gets back he'll become a Captain."

Just as that was said the door opened and we started to walk in. We all went to go stand by out Captains. Only Izuru, Shunei Hisagi and I had no one to stand next to. I felt odd as I stood there all alone when Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai walked in with his lieutenant Chojiro Sasakibe walked into the room.

"I have called you all here for the assignment of a few new Captains and a new lieutenant." the old man said "Shuhei Hisagi 9th division lieutenant you are now the new captain of the 3rd division."

Izuru looked a little shocked as Shuhie took his captain's rob and gave his badge to the old man and walked over to stand next to Izuru. I started to wounder who my new captain was going to be.

"If Renji Abaria where here he would now be named as the new Captain of the 5th Division so until he returns he's new lieutenant will fill in foe him" he stated as I heaved a sigh knowing then that I was trapped in the 5th but glad for Renji "Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto is now transferred to the 5th and will be acting captain until captain Abarai returns from his mission."

Matsumoto walked away from Toshiro and over to me. I removed my badge and gave it to her as she gave her badge to the old man. I walked over to where Yumichika was standing and wanted until the end of the meeting wondering where I was going to be going now.

"3th Division lieutenant Izuru Kira" the old man started again "You are now the Captain of the 9th division"

The look on his face said everything he wasn't expecting this. I was so happy for him both him and Renji had just become captains. Izuru walked over and got his captain's rob and gave up his badge. I watched him walk over to the 9th place as he looked at me with a smile.

"Former 5th division lieutenant Momo Hinamori" the old man said with much kindness in his voice I know I was going to be placed under Izuru who would I be under "You are now the lieutenant of the 10th division"

That wasn't what I thought I was going to hear. I was sure it would have been the 9th not the 10th. I looked over at Tishiro who had a slight smirk on his face as I walked up to the old man and took my new badge. I walked back to Tishiro and stood next to him. I felt his hand gently brush up on my hand this was why he had that pleased look on his face I just know it.

"And now for are new lieutenant" the old man said "Yumichika Ayasegawa 5th seat of the 11th division please come forward and take your badge. You have been promoted to lieutenant of the 9th division."

"Me..." he said

"Sometime today" Kenpachi stated

"yes sir"

Yumichika walked over and took his badge and walked over to stand next to Izuru.

"very well that is all" The old man said "please be moved into your new divisions by tonight. If you do not have a lieutenant you may pick from members of your own division."

I walked out with Tishiro but hung back to talk to talk to Izuru who seemed to be at a loss.

"I can't believe it Momo" He said to me "I'm a captain...me how did they know I even have my bankai. Not that it matters I was kind of hoping that you where going to be my lieutenant but hey Yumichika is a good guy and a good fighter. But look at you off to go be lieutenant to your Tishiro. Just no kids until the war is over alright."

"Captain Kira" I stated"I'm not even in that kind of a relationship with MY CAPTAIN! And besides all we did was kiss...I don't think that he will want that kind of a relationship with me."

Izuru looked at me like I said something stupid.

"Momo open your eyes and see what's in front of you" Izuru stated "He fought to get you as his Lieutenant...he fought hard to get you...I mean Captain Kuchiki didn't think it would be a good idea after all they way that Captain Hitsugaya was acting when you where in your coma...I'd hate to think of how he'd act if you got hurt while under his command."

I sighed I didn't think of that.

"Momo you coming?" Tishiro yelled at me "We have to get you moved into the 10th"

I smiled and looked at Izuru who had an all knowing look on his face.

"You'll be sleeping in his room wouldn't you" he laughed "All I'm going to say is about time Momo."

I turned and ran after Tishiro. When I caught up to him I started to walk a little behind him only because I wasn't sure what he wanted of me. Aizan always seemed to treat me like an equal.

"Sir you know about this didn't you" I asked

"Yes but I was the one that asked for you to go to the 10th" He told me "I had to fight really hard for it too. they all wanted you to go to the 9th with Izuru. All I had to do was stress how much you needed me and that I needed you too and you here we are."

I stopped walking and looked at him.

"Needed me too?" I asked "What kind of relationship do they think we have...Sir?"

"Who know...who care what they think" He started walking again "Now about the rooms"

"What about them?" I said "I have one you have one I don't see a problem."

He started to laugh and took my hand in his walking the rest the way to the 10th.

"Yes we do have two room" He said to me "But there is no way that you and I are sleeping in different rooms Momo."

"Oh really Lil' Shiro" I said "I don't think I like the idea of sleeping with you until you have at least told me a few things and we have gone out into public as a couple."

This time he stopped and looked at me as I kept walking. I stopped and waited for him to meet upwith me. I kissed him on his chick and pushed the door to the 10th open. I walked into the room that was going to be mine and found that my things where already in there. I looked at Tishiro and smiled as a started to close the door to my new room. I walked into the office and started to work on paper work.

"Are you coming or not Captain" I said with a smile "It looks like we have a lot of paper work to get through."

"You're trying to kill me Momo aren't you?" He said through gritted teeth

I started to laugh as I filled out the first bit of paper work. I smiled as I saw him look at me like I really was trying to kill him. After I finished all that I had on my desk I stood up walked over to Toshiro.

"I'm done and going now sir" I said "Have a good night."

He looked up from his paper work shocked at me. I smiled and headed for the door I was one step from the door when Toshiro was standing in front of me. I was about to say something when I was pulled into a kiss that sucked the air from me.

"I think you'll be missing Izuru's party" He said as he pulled me tighter to him

* * *

sorry this chapter was to help move along the plot 


	8. Chapter 8

As Your Lieutenant

I don't own Bleach

* * *

The next morning I woke up in Toshiro's room. I rolled onto my side and looked out the window it was still early.The sun wasn't even up yet this was early even for me.I looked over at Toshiro who just started to snore. I couldn't help the small smile that came to my lips. I rolled away from him pulling the blanket off me as got up. That was when I realized that I was still naked and that my lower half of my body hurt. 

"That wasn't a dream them" I stated to myself

I thought back to what happened last night.

**Flash back**

**I was in his arms and he kissed me. I felt my hands run into his air as he pulled me tighter to him. The next thing I know we flashed stepped into his or our bed room. I pulled away and walked as far away from him as I could.**

**"Toshiro" I sighed "I don't know about this. I mean we've just kissed I don't know if this is such a good idea"**

**"Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you" He asked me "Years Momo...YEARS! How long I've wanted to be with you. I've waited this long I can wait a little longer."**

**I was at a loss for words. After all I had never know this. **

**"I almost lost you to Aizen. I'm not about to let you go ever." He sighed"We don't have to do anything all I want to do is hold you when you sleep."**

**I looked at him lost for words.**

**"Aizen?" I asked "Do you think that I was sleeping with Aizen?"**

**"Come on Momo!" He said "The way that you talked about him and the looks whenever he talked to you. I was sure that you had. I guess I was wrong"**

**"Damn right!"**

**I turned from him and felt tears roll down my face. I was so sick of crying at this point.I walked to the door and was about to push it open when I felt him place his hand on my shoulder.**

**"I'm sorry" He said to me "Please stay Momo?" **

**"Who's asking me" I asked "Toshiro or My captain?"**

**"Me Toshiro...Not the Captain of the 10th but the man that I am" He said pulling me into a hug"Like I said we don't have to do anything I just..."**

**The look on his face told me everything. He was in love with me! He may not say it to me but he sure felt it for me. I smiled and nodded into his neck.**

**"I'll stay" I said **

**We talked for hours about everything and anything. When we where kids, why he liked watermelon so much and what we thought about.I ended up falling asleep with my head on his chest. I woke up maybe an hour after I had first fallen asleep with a cramp in my neck. I got up and changed into something to sleep in and found that Toshiro wasn't really asleep.**

**"You drooled on my shoulder" He said with a smile **

**"Oh...I'm so sorry Captain" I teased "would you like me to find you something new to ware?"**

**"I think you need to make it up to me."**

**He sat up and just took off the shirt. He reached out and pulled me to him.**

**"Oh would you like a kiss" I said "is that how you want me to make it up to you."**

**As we kissed I tried to put everything that I was feeling into it. I wanted him to know how much I cared about him. I felt him hand on my hip and moving down my thigh when I pulled away from his lips.**

**"Sorry" He said "I'll stop"**

**I looked at him and I know it was just the right time.**

**"No" I said "don't"**

**end of flash back**

I sighed, got dressed and left the room. I walked over to my room and changed into normal cloths for the rukongai. I wanted to get away from all of this I just needed to think. I was so worried that things had messed things up by what happened last night. I walked out of the 10th and headed out I passed a few partied that where still going on. I saw Izuru talking half drunk to his new lieutenant who was more drunk them him. Izuru looked up at me and smiled. I waved and kept on walking not wanting to talk to him.

"Momo wait up" Izuru stated running after me "It's about time you showed up! Where have you been it's like 4 in the morning?"

"Izuru...I mean Captain Kira...I'm sorry" I stated "I got caught up in some work at the 10th. Matsumoto never did her paper work so I had a lot to do."

Izuru looked at me and grabbed a hold of my arm and stopped me.

"Wait...you're glowing!" He stated looking at me with a worried look on his face "I was just joking about you and Captain Hitsugaya!"

"I don't know what you're talking about SIR" I stated

I tried to walk away and he pulled me to him by my arm.

"Momo" He breathed "did you really sleep with..."

"Izuru if you finish that statement I swear that you'll feel the full force of my kido!" I sighed looking up at him "I'm going into to rukongai for a little bit. You know go to the house I grew up in maybe go shopping later on. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me but you're still...never mind. I'll see you later."

I jerked my arm from his hand and walked away. I noticed that Izuru was watching me walk away. I had never seen that look on his face before and he and I fought. But that was a different time. He rushed into the room he was in when I started back on my way. I Must have been really deep in thought because the next thing I know I was almost to the gate. I stopped and really thought about going back and talking to Izuru. After all he was a good friend and he almost looked hurt that I slept with Toshiro.When all of a sudden Matsumoto stopped me.

"Matsumoto" I stated "Why are you always scaring me lately."

"Sorry" She smile "But I have good reason. I had to get to you before you got to the gate."

I looked at her and know then that Izuru had told her that he saw me and what had happened between me and Toshiro. Or what he thought had happened between us that is.

"Well look at our little Momo." Matsumoto stated "She's not little anymore she's a women now...so how was it?"

"I beg you're pardon?" I asked

She laughed and smiled.

"I'm not saying that it happened" I said mater of factually

"Oh it happened I can tell!" She said "Izuru was right!"

With that she pulled me into a hug and kissed my chick.

"I had to stop him from going over to the 10th and trying to kick Toshiro's ass." She smiled "You sure do have a lot of men looking out for you."

"I wounder how Renji is going to take it" I laughed

Matsumoto hugged me again.

"Are you drunk?" I asked

"I'm sober enough for this talk" She said to me "Although now that I think about it why are you out here alone? I mean shouldn't you be in bed with Toshiro?"

I couldn't help but look at her and then looked down at my feet.

"I should be in bed with him" I sighed "But I just need to think. It's all happening way to fast Matrumoto. I told him how I felt yesterday, was then made his lieutenant and he still hasn't told me how he feels well not really. And now here I am the morning after we slept together for the first time...my first time was with Toshiro and I feel...I don't know what I feel."

"I remember my first time" Matsumoto stated with a dreamy look on her face.

I looked at her shocked I always had a feeling but I never know for a fact.

"Who?" I asked

"Gin! And I felt just like you fell. I little confused and maybe even a little guilty. When I was with Gin nothing but us mattered. It was just me and Gin the outside world didn't matter." She said to me "I hope that you feel the some way for him as he feels for you. If anyone is meant to be in this world it is the two of you. Well maybe Renji and Rukia..."

I smiled and thought of Renji and how he used to look when he saw Rukia when we where at school.

"Look Momo I know that this is all new for you" She said with a knowing look "But trust me when I tell you that if you don't get back into that bed things are going to be a lot harder. I know that you love him and I know that he loves you. If you're having any troubles then you should just tell him how you feel and well what you're feeling right now. Running away from him after last night isn't the answer."

I looked at her and nodded my head.

"You're right Matsumoto" I sighed "You seem to always be right. I am trying to run away from what I'm feeling. Thank you for talking to me."

"No problem Momo" She stated "Oh and sometime today go to the 4th and let one of them know that you're...well sleeping with someone. We don't need any children until after the war is over. You don't have to tell them who...although I'm sure that they'll know after all Toshiro hardly left your side when you where in that coma."

I nodded my head and made a face at the thought of running and it made me want to cry but I had to get back the sun was starting to come up. I flashed stepped as much as I could and ran the rest of the way there. I opened to door the 10th and walked into him room. He was still asleep looking very much like the boy I used to come home and see when I wasn't at school. I really had a lot of problems as of late. I breath a sigh and looked at him one more time before I walked into the bathroom. I took off my cloths and turned on the shower. Sex was starting to be a real pain. And now that I've ran all the way here was in a lot of pain. I waited until the water was right and I stepped into the shower. I started to wash the blood from my legs when I felt an arm rap around my waist.

"Why do you captains always sneak up on people." I said with my hand on my chest "would it kill you to just say something when you walk into a room"

"This is more fun" He laughed "The look on your face every time is priceless"

"Good morning Captain Hitsugaya I hope you had a good night."

Toshiro snorted at me and kissed my neck.

"I had a very, very good night Lieutenant Hinamori" He said trying to sound like we where in the office but he couldn't help the laugh that came through. He pulled me into a hug "how was you night?"

"It was very nice" I smiled "I...it was nice"

He looked at red tinted water at my feet and then looked up at me.

"Is that from last night." He asked"Did I hurt you?"

"Yes" I said "I have never been with a man so...can I talk to you about something?"

He nodded his head.

"I feel a little odd about what happened last night." I said with a small voice

"Odd? That wasn't what I was going for..." He sighed "Looks like we need to have a talk about this."

He became Captain Hitsugaya in front of my eyes. The worm look that he had when he looked at me was gone he was Captain of the 10th Toshiro Hitusgaya calm, collected,and cold.

"OK Lieutenant" He said "why do you feel so odd"

I was a little shocked that he wanted to have this talk as Captain and Lieutenant.

"You want to have this talk as my captain?" I sighed

"As you captain" He stated "You should always feel that you can talk to me about anything."

"I lost my virginity to my best friend last night sir"

He looked at me like he had no idea who I was talking about.

"I'm sure you're just confused right now" He said "after all it is a big step to take."

I always wondered how he was able to put his feeling aside like that. I've never been able to put my feeling aside like that.

"I know that sir." I sighed "But that doesn't change how I feel...love him so much but I don't know about him. I feel guilty for everything that happened. For the whole Aizen thing, for the two fights that we had and for not talking to him about this after all I should be able to talk to him anything...after all I've know him just about all my life. but I can't talk to him not right now. I'm worried that when this war get started Azian will go after him because he know how I feel about said person. I don't think I'd live if he was taken from me."

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked me right in the eyes.

"You worry to much about the past Momo" He explained

As he said that his eyes softened and he was Toshiro I always loved it how he was able to go from Captain Hitsugaya to Lil' Shiro in a blink of an eye.

"Don't worry about me and Aizen" He said "I'll kill the bastard and then you never have to worry about him again."

I smiled and looked away from him.

"It's always been you Momo and now that I have you I want to shout it from the roof tops. Last night...I mean..." he tried to get out

"Are you at a loss for words?" I asked

We just looked at each other.

"No" he sighed "I just have no idea what to do. This is all so new to me!"

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I started to dry off and get dressed again.

"Lil' Shiro" I stated "As your lieutenant I will follow any order you give me...But as Momo I love you with every breath I take. Just thought that you should know."

I headed to the door the lead to the bed room and pushed it open.

"I'll see you later OK" I said

"Where are you going?" He asked me

"The 4th" I stated "I did just have sex for the first time and I need to go..."

He smiled and walked over to me and pulled me into a kiss.

"I'll be in office when you get back" He said "Try not to take all day Momo. I have plans for us tonight"

"I'll be back as soon as I can" I smiled

I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I smiled to myself Matsumoto was right...she always was.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

Kido, Paper work and Bankai

I don't own Bleach

* * *

I walked into the 4th after leaving Toshiro in his room. I had no idea what to say to who ever I talked to once I walked in yet alone what they could do for me. So I just walked and hoped that all would be fine. After all Matsumoto wouldn't point me the wrong way she was looking out for me and I was so grateful to her for all that she had done for me so far. I walked into the 4th and waited for someone to come up to me or if I could find someone myself.

"Lieutenant Hinamori" A voice said from behind me

I turned around and came face to face with the 7th seat Hanataro Yamada. He must have walked in right after I had. I didn't know him personally Rukia told me all about him.She told me that he was a good guy to talk to about any of your troubles. She told me that some times she was so depressed that even seeing Renji didn't help but it was Hanataro asking her about the world of the living that seem to give her a small amount of hope. Because of that I know that I could tell him everything he'd help me if he could or if he couldn't he'd point me in the right direction at the very least.

"Hanataro Yamada?" I asked as he nodded his head "Rukia told me all about you and that if I needed to talk to someone to go to you."

"That was nice of Rukia" He smiled I had a feeling that he had a little crush on Rukia "What seems to be the matter Lieutenant?"

I smiled at him and then blushed.

"Please call me Momo." I said

"Sure Lieutenant...Momo" He smiled

I found it hard to be talking to a man about this but I trusted both Rukia and Matsumoto. Rukia told me to go to Hanataro with anything I needed and Matsumoto told me to go to the 4th. So I had to just get it out and pray that I wouldn't die of embarrassment.

"Is there a place where we can talk and no one will over hear?" I asked "This is kind of private...and I don't want all of Soul society knowing about what I'm about to tell you."

"Sure" Hanataro stated "this way"

He lead me to a back room.The room reminded me of the one that I woke up in after my coma.

"Rangiku Matsumoto told me to come and see someone at the 4th...um" I tried "Because...I...um...this is embarrassing."

"Would you rather talk to Lieutenant Kotetsu?" He asked "would it make you feel better talking to a women about this?"

I gave him a small smile and shock my head.

"No" I stated "Well...last night I slept with someone for the first time."

"Oh is that all?" He stated "I thought that you had gotten hurt doing something you shouldn't have."

I was a little taken aback but what he just said to me.

"This isn't a big deal after all. Sex is a very normal part of life." Hanataro explained "You're not the first to do it and you wouldn't be the last. I promise you Momo."

I felt better now that I had gotten it out.

"May I ask who?" He asked

I looked at him like what he asked me the most oddest question. Although I'm sure I had the same look on my face. But I smiled at the fact that he didn't seem to care that I was sleeping with someone it made me feel better.

"Why would you need to know?" I asked

"Well if Lieutenant Matsumoto told you to come here it's so we can give you a type of kido on you that will block pregnancy. They kind of have the same thing in the world of the living." He explained "My captain told me all about it; it's called birth control. But we have a kido spell that works just as well."

He looked at me like he was waiting on me to tell him who. I sure as hell wasn't about to tell him that it was Toshiro.

"And you need to know who I'm sleeping with because?" I asked

"Well since you are a Lieutenant you have high spiritual powers." He explaned to me matter of factual "and it'll be less effective as it is on an unseated officer. I'm asking you about who because if he also has high powers like if he's also a Lieutenant...or Captain even?"

I felt like I was getting the birds and the bees talk but from a much younger boy. This was shaping up to be an odd visit to the 4th.

"And if he's a Captain?" I asked unable to look at him.

"Then it has to be a mush stronger Kido." He said with a kind smile "So are we looking at a Captain?"

I nodded my head and felt my face burn again. A very, very odd visit to the 4th.

"Alright" He said "Well, then I'm going to tell you that it's not ever 100 percent affective Momo. Keep that in mind! Is it one of the really strong Captains is it."

I didn't say anything I just could tell him that I was sleeping with my captain. Toshiro has been called a boy genius and the youngest to ever me named captain after all. I really hated the idea of whatkind of the kido that would be if I told Hanataro that it was Toshiro. I know that I could be taking a big chance but I didn't care. I wasn't or I just couldn't bring myself to tell him who.

I was given the kido that left a mark on my body that was just like the limit that is put on each Captain and Lieutenant when they go into the world of the living. It was the Insignia of the 10th the Daffodil and then the Snapdragon was added. Hanataro said that it was two flowers because I was strong and so was my partner. I also had a feeling that he know that it was Toshiro because Toshiro's Zanpakuto spirit is a dragon and that was why there was also a snapdragon.

"Now it's in a place that no one will see unless you want them to that is." He smiled at me "You'll have to come back in half a year to have it taken off for three days and then we'll put back on. Do you have any questions?"

"No" I stated "I think I understand everything. Although Rukia was right you are good to talk to. Thank you!"

We smiled at each other and I headed for the door.

"Can I ask one more time...who?" He asked

"You can ask all you want" I said "But sorry I'm not about to tell you"

I walked out of the 4th feeling much better about the way things where going.I was on my way back into the 10th when Izuru came out of his new office in his captain's uniform.

"Momo" He said as I walked by

"Good morning Captain Kira" I said

He beamed when I called him Captain.

"You messed one hell of a party last night? What happened to you I think I remember seeing you sometime early this morning...I don't really remember." He told me

"Yeah that was me" I smiled "Matsumoto and I went for a little walk I needed to talk to her. Sorry I missed you're party Captain Kara."

It was odd not being able to call him Izuru. But I promised myself after I woke up from my coma that I'd remember my place and not call any captain by there first name unless told other wise. I only call Toshiro by his name or Lil' Shiro when we where not Captain and Lieutenant. Or at least I tried to do that.

"Can youat least come to tonight's party?" He asked me

"How many parties do you need?" I asked

He smiled at me.

"Just wait until Renji gets back" He said to me "Then just the three of us well party like we did when we all got into the 5th together."

"I wasn't made a captain. Just the two of you where I was just moved from the 5th to the 10th it's no big deal." I stated

To tell you the truth I was happy for both of them. I don't think I every really wanted to be a captain. I liked where I was at and I really had no real need to move higher in the ranks.

"Oh come on Momo. We all have a lot to be celebrating...even you" He explained to me with that small smile of his "Please come tonight"

"I'll try" I said "But my Captain asked me not to make plans for tonight."

I looked at him with that same small smile but this time it had a little more behind it.

"Oh alright...but when Renji gets back the three of us are going out" I smiled at him "And no getting out of it. If I have to I'll make it an order Momo..."

I left Izuru and finished my walk to the 10th. It wasn't a long walk and when I got there several of the unseated offices where cleaning or getting ready to head off on hollow hunting. I pushed open the door and walked into the office. I didn't say anything to Toshiro I just sat down and started to work on the pile of paper work on my desk. I was sighing my name to something that I wasn't really reading when I noticed that Toshiro was in Captain Hitsugaya mode and was standing in front of me.

"What took you long enough Lieutenant?" He asked

"Well Captain Hitsugaya I had to talk to Hanataro all about my sex life." I joked "And I had to go into great detail. Then he kept asking me who I was sleeping with. I ended up getting this kido that blocks pregnancy."

I waited to see what he would do or say.

"I didn't tell him who" I explaned "If that's what you're worried about sir. But I had to tell him that I was sleeping with a captain because we had to make it strong enough."

I could tell that this wasn't what he thought I was going to say because he looked shocked. I started to laugh a little at him and his reaction to what I just told him. I looked back at the paper I was working on when two things happen at the same time One the room got cold and Two he placed a big pile of paper work on my desk.

"I have a meeting I have to go to" He said walking for the door with a cold look on his face and in his voice."I'll be back later don't leave the 10th like I told you earlyer that I have plans for us tonight."

"No offence sir" I said with a sigh and pulling my robs closer to my body "But what if I wanted to go out with my friends! Maybe I don't want to do whatever you have planed. Would it have killed you to ask me if I even wanted to do something with you...sir!"

He stopped and looked at me. And once again he was Toshiro looking back at me.

"Your right I should have asked Momo" He said

I wasn't really mad at him I was just annoyed. I waned to do something with him but I was starting to talk less and less to Izuru. I felt bad if I believed the rummer Renji and Rukia where now an item. And it looked like Toshiro and I were on the way to being one too. Although we sure didn't get any titles for each other before we slept together. But that left Izuru without anyone...anyone that I know of that is.

"What do you want to do?" I sighed as I asked him

"It's called a date." He told me "I learned all about then when I was in the world of the living. A boy takes out the girl and they do things together.Although we would have been on a lot of dates before we would have done what we did last night...um...I just want to take you out just you and me. Not Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Hinamori but Toshiro and Momo...please."

That melted my heart.

"Well I guess Izuru will have to wait for yet another night" I sighed "He did say something about when Renji gets back the three of us would go out like we did when we all got into the 5th together."

He didn't say anything he just nodded his head and walked out of the 10th leaving me alone in the office. I looked down at the papers he put on my desk and sighed. That was one big pile I could see why Matsumoto hated to do the paper work so much.I noticed that one was about me and Toshiro. I looked at it and started to read what it had to say. It looked at it and it said that Toshiro had put in for he and I to go into the world of the living tonight. Ismiledthatwas why he wanted me to not spend time with Izuru he put all this time into this date thing.

At the end of the day I closed up the office and headed to my room; not the one that I sheared with Toshiro but the room that was just for me. I was about to go and see what I could pass off for world of the living close when I changed my mind and went to small gym that the 10th had. I wanted to start working on my Bankai. We all know that a war was coming and I was about to let myself get hurt by anyone yet alone let Aizen get away with what he did to me.

Getting bankai I would have to materialize my zanpakuto Tobiume's spirit and bring it to the real world. Now that I had been able to do for a long time now I just had yet to really work on it. the problem was subjugate it. but once I did that I would have full run of my zanpakuto's power. Now the real problem wasn't my unwillingness it was that she and I had been a through a lot over the last few moths. The second that I pulled Tobiume from the zanpakuto she looked at me knowing what I was going to be asking of her.

"About time" she said to me "ready to play with the big boys are we?"

"Sorry it's taken me this long" I said

"Don't be" She stated "I may have been waiting for this from the moment that you woke up...but that doesn't mean that you where ready then. All that matters is that you're ready now!"

I smiled and nodded my head. After a long pause I looked at her and thought really hard it normally takes ten years to master bankai how was I going to be able to master it before the winter war.

"I don't have 10 years though" I stated "Even if I work every night for hours at a time will it be enough?"

"We will make it" Tobiume stated

Sometimes I was suprisedthat she had more faith in me then I did in myself. It was the push that I needed in order to get started.

"I just hope that it'll be enough to stop Aizen..." I said to her "After all Aizen has the ability to put all under absolute hypnosis."

"When you're ready" Tobiume stated "we'll be more then a mach for him trust in me, trust in yourself and trust in the ONE you love."

I smiled...Tobiume know me better then anyone, well maybe Toshiro know me just as well but that was a different kind of knowing me. Tobiume know me in as the warrior that I was, could be and when we where done that I would be. Where Toshiro know me as a girl and now a women.

"Lets get started then" I yelled "snap Tobiume and deflect!"

I had no idea how long I was at it. I know that I got hurt a few times but I wasn't about to stop. I know at one point the door to the gym opened and closed. I didn't look to see if someone had come to make sure I didn't get myself killed. I had other things on my mind after what felt like three hours I feel to the ground gasping for air when I saw two feet standing in front of me. I looked up to see Toshiro standing looking at me carefully.

"Well when I asked you not to leave the 10th this wasn't really what I had in mind" He joked crouching down pushing some of my bangs out of my eyes "I was thinking you could read or something...but no you have to go and get your butt kicked by you're zanpakuto. Don't you think that it's still a little too early for you to be working on your bankai like that."

I looked over at Tobiume and she faded away with knowing look. I sighed and rolled from my back onto my side and looked up at Toshiro who was now standing and offering me his hand so that I could get up. I took it got to my feet wiping the sweat and blood from my face.

"I think I've put it off long enough. Besides I have to do something Lil' Shiro." I explaned "with this war coming I want to be able to help any way that I can. I want to fight by my captain's side."

"Well lets get you cleaned up" He sighed with a small smile "go shower I'll have something for you to change into for tonight out on the bed for you."

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

Words that will heal you heart

I don't own Bleach

this chapter is from Toshiro's point of view.

* * *

'I want to fight by my captain's side.'

Momo's last words to me before she went to take a shower kept replaying in my mind. Momo had always been a very loyal person; I never once not know that of her. I know that if push came to shove she would die for soul society, for what she believed in and most of all for me. I'd rather never see that day come but I still know that she would do it that's just who she was. I pulled out a dress that he had borrowed from Rukia a wile ago just for this day. I after all had this planed from the second that I returned to soul society. The dress was a simple one peace dress that the Quincy Uryu Ishida made for her when she was saved. I was sure Momo would look great in it even though she was lot taller then Rukia but it would do for tonight regardless.

"Momo I'm leaving you something to weir tonight on the back of the door." I told her opening the door to the bathroom hanging the dress on the other side of the door "don't take all night we have to be there at a certain time."

I walked into my closet and pulled out one of the outfits that I had from my time in the world of the living. I was not about to be caught dead in the school uniform again anytime soon but I did have other things. I ended up pulling out a black short slave collared shirt and a pair of tan pance. I looked at himself feeling like I really did looked the part and started to wait on Momo. I had no idea how long she was in the bathroom and I was to about to march into the bathroom and drag Momo out when she opened the door and walked out. She looked amazing!

"You're leaving your hair down?" I asked

I'll never admit this to anyone but I love it when her hair is down. She never left it down and I always wanted her leave it down more often. It makes her look even more beautiful then she already is. I wondered if she's take an order to leave it down from now on. I noticed that she blushed and went to start to put it up.

"I can put it up..." She started "Just give me a moment"

"No" I said "leave it...it looks nice."

She smiled at me, it still wasn't the smile that she used to have before all this happened. It was still this fake one that she has been showing since the day she woke up. I hated that fake smile it was just another reminder of what was done to her. I want so much to see the smile that used to light up everything and everyone around her. She always seemed to melt my heart with her smile. And that was all I seemed to need right now her real smile and the chance to see her happy again! To get the Momo that she once was back.

We stood there looking at each other for a moment when I reached out and took her hand and lead her out of the door of the 10th. I was a little worried that she wouldn't have fun tonight but I pushed that into the back of my mind. We walked to the gate that was opened for us. I held her hand the whole time I didn't care who saw and what they would say I just wanted to spend time with my Momo. The world of the living hadn't changed much since I was last here. I'm not really sure why but I started to drag Momo all over the city telling her all about the time I was here. I walked her past the High School that I went to, showed her the soccer field and told her all about playing. She lessened to everything I said with a smile on her face. It was an honest to god Momo smile. It felt so good to see it again.

"Well at least no hollows for you this time." I smiled at her remembering her first time she was in the world of living "Although if they show up we're more then a mach for them."

"Oh wow I hadn't thought about that" She gave a small smile "That was when Renji...I mean Captain Abarai and Captain Kari and I first caught his eye."

I know that she was talking about Aizen. I could tell when her smile faded that she was thinking about him. I noted that she looked different when she thought about him now a days. The truth is I was always SO jealous of Aizen when I was younger. He took my place in her heart and then he took her off to the 5th. When I went to school and then became a captain I was going at it as hard as I did because I wanted so badly to prove to Momo that I was the better man. I can't really tell you when I realized that I was in love with Momo but when Aizen tried to have Momo kill me and I was forced to defend myself from her something in me snapped. When I think back when I started to fight Gin it wasn't just because he made Momo spill her own blood it was the fact that he while fighting me he tried to kill her. I realized then that thought of living without her wasn't something I could. And then to top it off when Aizen tryed to kill her and she was bleeding to death I felt a part of myself lock up.

"May I ask you something Toshiro?" She asked me

"Of course Momo" I smiled at her "You can ask me anything"

I was leading her to the movie theater as we talked. Orihime told me that a movie was always a good first date. When I was staying with her and Matsumoto I told her all about Momo and how I wanted to maybe be more then just friends wih her. Orihime did one of her talking about nothing things and then stated to tell me about dating when Matsumoto stopped her. Now that I think about it I guess I really did stat to plan this date even way back then.

"Why" She started "Would you do all this for me?"

"Because you mean a lot to me..." I sighed "I thought that we had already covered all this"

She gave me a small smile as she pulled her hand from mine. She looked a little upset, I know we had to have this talk and I had to just do it from the look on her face.

"Yes we have covered this already" She smiled at me "That we grew up together and you're always going to take care of me, protect me, and kill that...what did you call him?"

"That Bastard" I smiled. "I'll kill that bastard for you!"

I wanted to promise her right then and there that I would kill Aizen. But I know that wasn't what she wanted she wanted to be able to fight for herself. In all truth I hated Aizen so much that I was wanted to kill him with my own two hands, to hell with my zanpakuto. He almost damn well took Momo from me. First he pusher her to thinking that she had to kill me and then he almost killed her. I on a small level didn't care that he wanted to take over Soul Society it was the fact that he almost took the most important thing from me. I looked over at her and felt the small amount of anger I was building fall.

"That morning that Matsumoto and I had lunch." She explained "She told me a few things"

"Like what?" I asked

I was a little worried. Matsumoto was...well Matsumoto and she's seen me at my best as well as my worst. And whatever she told Momo it was just the right kick in the butt that she needed. I ended up thanking Matsumoto big for helping Momo and my self. I ended up buying her the biggest amount of alcohol that I could find for her the morning after Momo and I fist slept together. I know it sounds bad that I thanked Matsumoto for the fact that Momo and I slept together.

"She said that when I was in my coma you were running on auto polite" Momo told me not looking at me "That you where not you well you. You didn't yell about the paper work and you where hardly at the 10th. And don't be mad at her she would eavesdrop on you talking to me. She said something about talking about when we where kids and how hard it was for you when I left for school. That I could call you Lil' Shiro all I wanted..."

She stopped talking as if thinking about what to say next. At that moment I was thinking about what I was going to do to Matsumoto she had said way to much.

"Do you remember what I said to you when you come into my office?" I asked

She nodded her head. I couldn't help the smile I gave her.

"I told you that you don't have to do this alone" I told her "I'll always be right here for you. I want you to know that no matter what I'll Protect you! I almost lost you to Aizen and it almost killed me...not the wound that he gave me it was seeing you in that coma Momo."

She stopped walking and looked at me. I couldn't tell if what I said was a good thing because she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"I want to be here for you Momo" I told her "Not just as your Captain or Best friend...if you'll let me I want to always be by your side. I'll help you get your bamkai if you want it, I'll fight the biggest hallow if it's to much for you, I'll go to every party you want to drag me to if I can see you smile again and I'll kill Aizen of our vengeance if that will bring you peace of mind."

By this point I had pulled her into my arms. I felt her tears on my shoulder as I talked to her. I pulled her a little so we could start walking again we had to get to the movie theater.

"But why though" I asked "I understand the need to protect me and all but why?"

"Because" I said

I wanted to tell her that it was because I loved her but I couldn't do it. Some how here in the human world just didn't seem right. But then I looked in her eyes told me I had to tell her something.

"Momo to me you are the most important person in all of soul soucity" I told her

I don't know why I said that but I did and it felt so good to tell her.

"Toshiro?" She asked with a small voice

"Yeah Momo?" I stated

She looked at me with another small smile. It was almost a small glimps of what her old smile and it made everything that we had been through worth it.

"Thank you" She said to me with tears in her eyes "For everything!"

I hated to see her Momo cry. I think that I've seen her cry enough for two life times. If I had my way (and I do plan to I might add) Momo would never cry again. When I looked at her I couldn't help but smile softly at her. I reached out and whipped the tears with the tip of my fingers and leaned in and kissed her. I loved holding her. I really loved kissing her and I really really love...I'm sure you got the idea. We pulled away from each other and I looked at her.

"Come on Momo" I said to her "We have to be there by a certain time...come on where almost there!"

We got to the theater and I bought two tickets and we went into the theater. Momo looked really cute as she looked around everything. I let her look around for a wile since we still had time before the movie started. She was staring at a video game with her mouth open when I decided that it was time to go in.

"Come on Momo!" I smiled as I pulled her "It says theater 5 on the ticket so it's this way."

We walked to in and picked seats in the middle and she looked at me like she had no idea what to do now.

"Lil' Shiro" She asked me

"Yes" I smiled at being called Lil' Shiro

"Do we just sit here?" She asked me

I looked around at the other people in the theater and they were all just sitting and looking at the screen. Well not everyone, I couple in the way back looked like they were trying to eat each other faces.

"Looks like" I sighed "Unless you want to try and eat my face like that girl back there!"

Momo turned and looked at the couple and blushed.

"No...I think I'll pass" She stated "I kind of like your face just the way it is"

"Are you sure" I joked although I really wanted to kiss her "It looks kind of fun"

She looked at me and moved as far as her chair would let her go. I smiled I have seen her naked a few times now and here she is shy and not wanting to kiss me in front of a few living people. I leaned in and pulled her to me I put my arm around her and kissed her check. I was about to kiss her on her lips when the lighs went down and the movie stated. Or something called previews stated that is. Two and a half hours later we walked out of the movie holding hands and talking about how this whole thing was odd.

"Humans really do this for dates?" Momo asked me as we headed back to the gate to Soul Socity "It wasn't bad but...it was just well..."

"Odd" I finished "Did you like the movie?"

She smiled and nodded her head.

"Next time we'll do something in soul society."

She smiled a really big smile I think she liked the idea of going out with me again. That smile was worth everything that had happened lately. We walked back into soul society and into the 10th. I walked her to her bed room door although I had every intention for having her come over to my room later I wanted to do this date thing right. Orihime told me that after the date I was to walk her home and if she had a good time and liked me she might give me a good night kiss.

"Did you have fun" I asked her at the door to her room

"Yes" She smile "thank you for taking me"

She pushed the door open and looked in. I had all of her things moved into my room while we where at the movies. It was my little way of telling her that I wanted her with me. She looked in and turned to look at me.

"Um...Lil' Shiro" She asked "my things are missing"

"No they're not" I told her "I had them moved into my room...it's now our room."

She looked at me with an odd face.

"Then why did you walk me to my old room?" She asked me

"Because that's what you do." I told her "You walk her home and take her to her door. If she's had fun and had a good time she might kiss you good night."

She looked at me with a smile and pulled me to her kissing me. She pulled away and walked into her room she closed the door behind her. I didn't hear her move from that spot she was in.

"How long do I have to stay in here before I can go into the other room?" She asked from behind the door "Cause I'm kind of tired and I kind of want to get ready for bed."

I couldn't help but laugh and pushed the door open. I reached in and grabbed her arm and pulled her into our room.

"I'm sure you are" I told her opening the other door "when I was working on my bamkai I felt like I couldn't get enough sleep. and since you where having your butt handed to you you're going to need all the sleep you can get."

"Oh ha ha" She laughed "I'm going to bed."

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

Bankai in hand

I don't own Bleach

this is by Momo

I walked into soul society after my week long trip to the world of the living. And to tell the truth I was happy to be back. But I never even got a chance to get home I was stopped by a hell butterfly telling me that I had to go and see the old man. I didn't want to see him I wanted to see Toshiro and go back to the way things had been before I left. I sighed I know he wanted to know about what I had been doing. I had been in the world of the living for a week and now I was back.

Flash back

_I was once again working on my bankai when I hard the door of the gym open. My first thoughts was that Tōshirō was worried about how long I was in here and was doing his check to see that I was still alive. But when I turned around it wasn't Tōshirō I saw it was Urahara himself. He put a kido spell in the door and started to talk to me but I was so lost in the fact that here he was that I didn't hear him tell me that Tōshirō had asked Urahara to help me get my bankai._

_"You want you bankai am I right?" He asked me "I owe your captain so I'll help you get it!"_

_"How can you help me...wait!" I smiled knowing what was going to happen next "Are you talking about the same way that you got yours...in three days no less?!"_

_He smiled that odd smile of his._

_"Wait why are you here?" I asked_

_"Like I said I owe your captain" He said "But if you mean soul society I'm here as part of the war and the fact that Rukia and Renji needed help. I'm sure you hard about them."_

_I nodded my head. I think I was the last one to see them before they left. This was really worried about them but Renji was a captain now and I was sure he could handle himself. _

_"Toshiro asked you to do this for me?" I asked_

_He didn't say anything to be he just looked at me. I looked out the window at Toshiro I couldn't believe that he would do all this for me. I know who he was thinking about and I felt myself blush._

_"I'm taking you to the world of the living with me." He said to me "Something tells me that Captain Hitsugaya will be more of a distraction then help..."_

_"He hasn't been bad" I explained "Toshiro...um captain Hitsugaya has mostly been getting in the way more then anything! Very time I think I'm getting close he would walk into the gym and give me this look that made me want to stop!"_

_Urahara walked to the door and took down the kido that he had placed to keep everyone out and pushed open the door._

_"I'm taking Lieutenant Hinamori um...Momo to the world of the living with me!" He told Toshiro "And it's just going to be her...you need to stay here and do what you do best!"_

_"It's just three days" Toshiro smirked "You can have a week at the latest but I'm not going to be doing all the paper work."_

end of flash back

That week was the longest week of my life. To get my bankai I went through hell and back and even...well therapy. I learned that I shouldn't be mad at myself because of Aizen but at Aizen himself, I had to see for myself who he really was. When I finally got my bankai Kisuke Urahara took one look at it with a shocked look on his face and smiled. He told flat out not show it to anyone let alone what it really could really do. I myself was just as shocked...to tell you the truth I didn't see this coming it was such a flip for me.

flash back

_"We really don't know who we can trust." He told me as he opened the gate for me "Just go to the old man and tell him that you have your bankai and to have him call me and I'll fill him in if he really has to know."_

_"What about my captain?" I asked "Should I not tell him as well?"_

_He gave me a soft look and smiled at me. I know that he know what I was really thinking about._

_"Tobiume seems to trust him so I don't think you shouldn't as well" He told me "But remember to be careful Momo if it gets out what your bankai can really do I have a feeling that Aizen will come after you!"_

_The door opened and I took one last look at Urahara._

_"He can try" I said definatly "But I'll be damned if I let him try to fool me again!"_

end of flash back

I went to see Captain Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai as I was told to do not just by the Urahara but by the hell butterfly as well. The second that he was told that I was here to see him I was sent in. He was alone as I walked in and bowed. I was never really conferable with the head captain he was just to strong for me sometimes. I sat before him not really sure what to do and or say.

"You have returned" He said to me "Does this mean that you have completed your task?"

"Yes sir" I said "I have acheaved my bankai."

He smiled at me and walked over to me and took my zanpakutō and held it in his hands. He looked it up and down.

"I see" He smiled a big bold smile but then his eyes hardened and I know that he was about to order something of me "I am ordering you to tell no one what your bankai does! Not even Captain Hitsugaya do you understand?"

"But sir" I started but then thought better of it "yes sir"

He looked at me again with soft eyes and offered me his hand so that I could stand.

"You did very well Lieutenant Hinamori." He said to me walking with me to the door "I know that you have had a tough time with this. Aizen's betrayal of you must be hard for you but I know that everything will work out. I've been told that bit by bit the old Momo is coming back out I am glad to here that! Now go to the 10th and inform your captain that you have returned and have him reported to me tell him that I wish to talk to him as soon as he can get here."

"Yes sir" I said "Thank you sir!"

"Captain Hitsugaya was right" he said as I walked out of the room "He would be able to help you through this."

It was nice that Toshiro had said that. I was grateful that he wanted to help me so much. I smiled as I walk home I wanted nothing more then to get home and back to him. When I walked into the 10th I was greeted by a lot of smiling faces, A few welcome back Lieutenant and a very happy seated officer that from the look of it had been doing my paper work while I was gone. I walked into the office and was meet by my captain, best friend and dare I say it my lover.

"I'm back" I said to him in an up bet way "I have already reported to Captain Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai and he asked that I inform you that he wished to see you as soon as you can."

"Wecome back Momo." Tōshirō said with a small smile "and thank you for telling me...so did you get it?"

I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I did" I said "But I am unable to talk about it. I was ordered to tell no one about it by..."

"I get it" he snapped "Well you should take the rest of the day off I'm sure you need the rest. I'll see you later tonight"

I felt like he had just slaped me. He had never brushed me off like that before.

"Um Toshiro..." I started

"It's Captain Hitsugaya!" He snapped at me again "Just because you have your bankai doesn't mean that you don't have to address me as such!"

I felt the tears well in my eyes and as I stared at him like I had no idea who he was. Toshiro had never really ever snapped at me like this before and that was an honest to god snap. I never thought that he could ever be that mad at me. I walked out of the 10th and started to just walk around. I had nothing to do and no one to do it with when I once again ran into Captain Izuru Kira. I was starting to think that he might have a little thing for me.

"Momo your back!" He said "I was told that you went to go and spend time in your childhood home...was it nice being away from all this?"

"It was...well it was what it was" I stated "Did anything happen while I was gone? Captain Hitsugaya was...well he was odd to me!"

Izuru looked at me and shock his head no.

"No not that I know of...he's been fine...unless it's the rumors that has him on eager" He stated to explain "who knows if it's true or not but they're saying that Renji might not make it back that that his place will be filled by the next Lieutenant to get bankai!"

"But I don't get that he should know that I don't ever want to be a captain" I stated "I've never wanted that you know that..."

It made sense Toshito was thinking that I was going to leave him again and become a captain and never think of him again.

_"_How about this...how about we go and get some lunch" He stated "You look like you haven't had a good mean in weeks."

"Oh I was well taken care of" I said "It was just a lot of hard work while I was there...you know."

I went to lunch with Izuru and had a good time with him it was nice to just be sitting and not thinking about the war to come and the problems it would make. After we had finished he walked me back to the 10th. I wanted so badly to tell everyone that we saw that I had my bankai but I was under orders not to tell anyone after all. Once I was back in the 10th I found Toshiro sitting alone in the garden. He looked odd...almost like he wasn't himself. I decided that it was time to try and get whatever bug that was up his butt out. I walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"It's a nice day don't you think?" I tried "thanks for giving me the day off so I could be out in it. Did you go and see the old man?"

Tōshirō didn't say anything or even look at me.

"Do you know why I couldn't tell you about what it does?"

I sighed and decided to try again this time I was just going to through it out into the wind.

"So is it true?" I asked "Is it true that Renji might not make it back and that his seat is going to the next lieutenant with bankai? That would be Ikkaku Madarame right?"

"It would be him if he didn't go with his captain to go and save Renji's ass" Tōshirō stated "Now it looks like it very well could be you! Just what we need a bed wetter as a captain."

I just started to laugh. I thought that he was joking boy was I way wrong.

"This isn't funny Momo!" He snapped

"You of all people should know that I've never wanted to be a captain!" I smiled "They can give it...what's his name...Ichigo because I'll never take it!"

I was mad and this was the first time I was really really mad at him.

"May I remind you!" I snapped "that this was all your idea. You asked for Urahara to help me! You sent me into the world of the living, if this wasn't what you thought was going to happen then what did you think was!"

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me like I had lost my mind. So I got up and started to walk away from him. Part of me wanted to hit him over his white haired head of acting like a child but the other part of me know that it was just his way of reacting to what he was feeling. Our new relationship was really hard but I really couldn't do much about it.

"I'm going to go to bed."I sighed "I'll see you tomorrow"

With out another word I turned on my heals and headed to the room that was just mine. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts something was wrong and he wasn't telling me everything. But I really didn't care after all I had other things to worry about and my fight with Toshiro wasn't high on my list of things to worry about.

* * *

Sorry it took so long but anyway here you go...any if you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


	12. Chapter 12

I'm done

I don't own Bleach

this is by Momo

* * *

For weeks Toshiro and I didn't talk to me other then when he needed something from me. In one moment he stopped being my childhood friend and only became my captain. I hated this new life more then anything and I was really started to hate Toshiro. I did my work as I was told to do everyday and started to get into a habit of it. But still no talking even when Renji returned and became the captain that he was made. I had a feeling that this was the first step for him and Rukia where sooner or later going to get married. I was happy for Renji if anyone should get the happy ending with the person he loved it was him.

I then made up my mind and I was going to put in paper work to leave the 10th. I didn't want to work for Toshiro anymore. It wasn't even that we where not talking to each other or that he wouldn't even look at me when he talked to me. It was the fact that he had changed over night. So I walked into the 1st with my paper work to leave the 10th and if I couldn't do that then to resign and go and teach at the academy sure they this wasn't going to go over well. But this is something that I had to do for myself. Sure enough captain Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai was shocked by what I was saying and what I wanted. I stood my ground as he looked at me and read what I had wrote.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked me "I want you to be happy...we both know that we're going to need you when the war comes."

"Yes sir" I stated "I cannot longer stay in the 10th sir. If you want me to fight in the war then you'll have to give me what I want."

He looked at me for a moment and smiled. He then took another peace of paper and wrote my new orders down. He handed the paper to me and I looked it over.

"Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto will return to the 10th starting today" I read out load "and Lieutenant Momo Hinamori will return to the 5th"

I looked at it and bowed and left. As soon as I was out of the 1st I saw several hell butterflies fly. I was sure they where going out to go and tell everyone what was going on. I know that when I reached the 10th Toshiro would know what was going on and he wasn't going to be happy. As I walked I thought about what I had done this day I didn't like what I had to do. But I couldn't help it I didn't want to stay where I wasn't wanted and I know I wasn't wanted. Once in the 10th I went to my room and pack the few things that I had. As I packed I noticed that sure enough the whole division was cold. Colder then what it normally was I know that Toshiro was mad, but I really didn't care.

When I was all packed and ready to go I headed for the hall. I slid the door closed and gave a sigh when I say my breath I know it was Toshito and his anger that made the room so cold. And sure enough when I was about to walk away from the 10th and the new life that I had built when I was face to face with my second Captain and childhood friend. As I looked at him his eyes grew colder. I looked down at my arm and saw my badge and ripped from my arm and tossed it into his hands.

"I think Rangiku will want that back" I said

I know that I shouldn't say that the second that it was out of my mouth. And sure enough the second that I said that the hall froze over. I'd seen this a few times only when he was so mad that he was lousing control. And it seemed that it was always me that made him so mad.

"I'll see you around Captain" I stated

I was about to walk out of the 10th I was stopped by a hand on my arm.

"Don't do this Momo" He said "please"

I was shocked by this and it made me see red. We hadn't talk in a long time and now here he was talking to me as if nothing had changed. I pulled my arm from his hand and looked at him.

"To little, to late Toshiro" I snapped "You can't expect me to not be effected by your lack of seeing that I am alive for as long as you did and not react. I mean do you think that little of me that I would just sit back and take it. I'm not the same Momo I was sir. I'm going to my new division and I hope that you find something or someone to make you happy."

I started to walked out of the hall and to go out into the day. But as soon as I was about to reach the door I was looking at him again.

"Please Momo!" He begged "I'm begging you I need you as my Lieutenant."

I pushed through him and marched out. I was heading for the 5th when he was standing in front of me again.

"I'm done toshiro" I snapped "Done!"

and that was it he just stood there shocked as I walked away. I felt a small amount of tears in my eyes as I walked but I wasn't about to turn. I was done with that part of my life now and headed back to the 5th and the old life but with a new Capetian. I sighed and walked into the 5th but what I found wasn't what I thought it was going to be. It looked like it was running very smoothly. I guessed that was all because of Renji having been under Byakuya Kuchiki must have rubbed off on him.

"Can't say I'm not happy to have you Momo" Renji said to me as I walked in "But I was a little suprised when I hurd that you wanted to leave the 10th. I was sure that you and captian Hitsugaya where getting along well...it's not the first time I've been wrong and it wouldn't be the last. Well welcome and here's you're badge and there's you're room I'll be in the office when you're done getting unpacked."

I wanted to thank him but he was gone before I got the chance. It was nice to not have to tell him everything that I was thinking and or feeling. I took my new badge that was once my old badge and put it on. It felt normal and almost back to the way that it was long before Aizen started anything. I unpacked and went to the office there was no paper work for me to do and I thought about going to the 4th and taking off the birth control kido. But I wasn't sure what Renji might need from me today.

"Sir" I asked walking into the office

"For the love of god Momo" Renji laughed at me "You don't have to act like that when where alone you can just call me Renji. After all I'm still the same guy...they just gave me a tittle"

I smiled this was just so Renji. He didn't care about the formalists that most if not all of the captains did. And If I was mistaken it was because of the world he grow up in. He learned what really mattered in the world and tittle and rank wasn't one of them.

"Sorry Renji" I smiled "If you don't need anything from me right now I need to make a quick run to the 4th. It shouldn't take to long..."

"Whatever you need Momo" Renji smiled "Besides I kind of have um plans in a hour."

I watched him blush to match his hair. I smiled and headed for the door this was what I needed not a gard dog but friend, not a captain trying to make me forget Aizen but a captian that understood that I just needed a new captain and I needed a friend that wasn't going to not talk to me anymore just because things where going to change.

"Say Hi to Rukia for me" I said walking out

"um...I don't...know what you talking about" He said way to fast

Renji was going to be just what I needed. If Toshiro wanted to be in a relationship other then our friendship. Then this was the perfect way to start things over with but at the sometime I didn't care. I was just over it all...I was over everything and wanted nothing to do with well anything. I sighed and walked off to the 4th not with a happy thought but just with thoughts in my mind.

My trip in and out of the 4th took no longer then a hour. And once I was out I was without my little kido. I felt a little off with that being gone but it was sure that, that would right it's self after a few days. I was walking back to the 5th when I saw Toshiro fighting in the open with Renji. I couldn't hear them but I could tell that they where yelling at each other. I saw Rangiku try to stop Toshito. I felt my hands form fist and I walked over to them as fast as I could. I was upon them in moments Toshiro's back was to me but Renji looked at me.

"Drop it Captain Hitsugaya" Renji worned "Take you lieutenants advice and just go. I'm not going to fight with you about something that I had no hand in. If you have a problem with the new order then take it up with the old man or you're former lieutenant other then that I'm done with this I'm going to be late for dinner."

I saw ice form on the ground and then the off feeling that I had been feeling hit and I realized that it was almost like PMS only worse. I couldn't help what I didn't next I pushed past Rangiku who looked like I had lost my mind.

"have you lost you're mind Captain Hitsugaya." I asked as i got between him and Renji "You have no right to be mad my Captain...Captain Hitsugaya I asked to be transfused from the 10th. You want to yell at someone then yell at you're self I left the 10th because of you. I'm back at the 5th because Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai would allow me to go and teach. I asked to leave because I didn't want to be you're lieutenant any longer."

I know that everything I was saying was mean but to me it was true to me at the moment.

"Captain" I said to Renji "I believe that you'll be late for dinner...as for you sir let it go!"

Rangiku pulled Toshiro away from me and Renji. Renji smile turned and headed off to where he was having dinner at. I on the other hand headed for the 5th as I cried to myself. I hated everything about what was going on in my life right now. But all I could do was keep right on going with my life as it was now. This was my life now and as much as I hated it, I had to keep living it. I was needed in the war to come.

* * *

I know a mad Momo but i'm going somewhere with this trust me...and if you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


	13. Chapter 13

Hell of my own making

I don't own Bleach

this is by Toshiro

* * *

So this is the life I have now. My best friend for as long as I can remember left me because I was just obeying my orders. I hate being a captain sometimes and this is my own damn fault the whole damn thing is! I'm so mad at myself that I can't even look at myself without wanting to punch myself. I know that Rangiku is worried and I have a feeling that the reason that she's my lieutenant again is because she knows me so well. I know that captain Yamamoto-Genryūsai has his reasons for everything but I sometimes don't always agree with him.

"Captain" Rangiku asked walking in with a pile of paper work in her arms and I'm shocked to see that it's done. "You have a message from the 5th's captain. He's giving you a report on Mo...lieutenant Hinamori_. _It looks like he was ordered to keep you informed. It seems like the old men really did know what he was doing."

"I don't care" I stated "leave it...I'll get to it when I get a chance."

That was a lie as soon as she was out of sight I was going to rip it open and read it. I know that Rangiku wasn't stupid and she know that my cold front was really just that a front I had a soft spot for Momo and it was know all to well. I think that was part of the reason why captain Yamamoto-Genryūsai told me to keep my distance and also moved her from the 10th and back into the 5th. But then again if he didn't want me and Momo to get close he never should have sent her to me in the first place.

**flash back**

_I was sure that Momo would have come and seem me first thing once she returned from the world of the living. Urahara had told me it was only going to take three days because she had started on her own. Boy was a surprised that it took her longer then that and it had me worried too. I was sure that would be the first one she'd want to see. But what i got was Momo coming into the 10thhours later from her return. And on top of that I now had to go and have a meeting with captain Yamamoto-Genryūsai. This wasn't what I wanted to do I wanted to have some time just Momo and myself. She looked happy when she finally walked into the 10th. I know then that she had done what she had set out to do._

_I know that was a stupid question I could fell it. I know that she was over joyed to have her bankai and maybe she would fell like she would be able to help in the war to come. But then I thought about what she had just said to me. 'I have already reported to Captain Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai and he asked that I inform you that he wished to see you as soon as you can.' _

_I wasn't the first one that she saw when she got back._

_"Thank you Momo" I said with a small smile "So tell me did you get it?"_

_"I did" she said with a bigger smile I love that smile "But I am unable to talk about it. I was ordered to tell no one about it by..."_

_That son of a bitch! He ordered her not to tell me...me! I'm her Captain I'M HER CAPTAIN! And true I'm starting to become something more. And now she can't talk to me about the biggest change in her life. She's steps away from becoming a captain if she wants it and she can't talk to me about it. She is my best friend and he's about to take that away from me...I know it!_

_"I get it" I snapped unable to stop myself "Well you should take the rest of the day off I'm sure you need the rest. I'm sure that the last few days have been long and hard for you. I'll see you later tonight."_

_"Um Toshiro..." I started_

_I know that she was about to cry I know that I was about to put on Captain Hitsugaya mask and she was about to cry or get mad. Or maybe I'd get lucky and she'd tell me 'You can forget about that'. But I dotted that very much it was hard to tell what Momo was going to do these days, it was almost like walking on eggshells._

_"It's Captain Hitsugaya!" I snapped at her again co just know it and I felt myself slip into captain Hitsugaya mode "Just because you have your bankai now doesn't mean that you don't have to address me as such! You're still MY Lieutenant do you understand!"_

_"Yes sir" she said_

_I could hear the tears in her voice and she walked out. I quickly got up and walked out of the office. I know that if stayed I would have lost my mask and gone into protect Momo mode. And that hasn't always gone so well don't get me wrong I'd die for her I damn near did that too. So I did the only thing I could think of walked out of the 10thand walked right to the 1st to get this meeting over with. And sure enough when I walked in I was taken right in to see the old man. I know what was coming when it did. I was about to ordered to make distance between my Momo and myself._

_"I'm sure you know why you're here." he said to me "I know that you and lieutenant Hinamori are close. Maybe closer then I may even know...and I like to think I know about everything but things have changed. In your attempt to give her what she wanted, you have just helped us i like to think win this war."_

_I wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth. Did i just hear him right how was Momo going to win the war for us. But then again I had a feeling that she would have a hard time looking at Aizen as an enemy. I know that the rest of us would be able to see him as we need to the enemy. I liked to think that if I was close to her she would be just fine. _

_"Sir...how is Momogoing to be a key in the war?" I asked an able to stop myself "I mean I thought that the point for her to be put in my charge was to help her with the Aizen issue. Are you telling me that there is no longer one?"_

_"That's not what I'm saying" He said to me "I'm saying that for her own good so that Aizen doesn't try to use her to get to you or you to get to her I need you keep your distance."_

_Keep my distance he wants me to keep my distance from my lieutenant that wouldn't work how could that work and that was when it hit me. I felt my mouth fall open as I looked at him._

_"You want me to push her so far away that she'll want to leave me...the 10th" I sighed in understanding_

_I couldn't believe this...no wait I could. I know that the room around me was getting cold and I couldn't help it. I know that he could just take Momo from me and we'd still be close this plan of his was going to force my hand._

_"Is that an order Sir?" I asked_

_"Yes" he said with a sad face "it is"_

**end of flash back**

I was sure that Rangiku was gone I pulled the letter from the 5th and ripped it open. Sure enough in Renji's chicken scratch he called hand writing was a report on Momo. As I tried to read it I started to feel really sorry from captain Byakuya Kuchiki for all of those years that Renji was his lieutenant. I would have never given Renji paperwork to do if I was in Byakuya's place.

**Captain Hitsugaya  
****As part of the orders given to me by Captain Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai I am to keep you informed on lieutenant Momo Hinamori. **

I couldn't help but snort poor Renji. This really wasn't what he was good at Renji well he was a fighter not a paper pusher.

**Lieutenant Hinamori has fallen into her roll at the 5th well. She plays her part well I guess Oh whatever Momo seems sadder the light that was in her eyes when she was in the 10th is all but gone. I really do think that this is stupid just tell her that you're sorry and that you love her and can't live without her. Trust me when I tell you...it works.**

Great relationship advice from Renji Abarai. Well if it is true that he and Rukia Kuchiki had finally come to terms with there feelings. Almost like Momo and I had been doing. Damn I hated Abarai for all his luck.

**I know that she misses you...****Rangiku tells me that you're twice as cranky since the change of Lieutenants. She trains everyday harder I'm worried that she'll hurt herself. I know that there is more going on then what you have been able to tell Rangiku and what Momo has told me. Or hell even what the old man has told me but I don't care. So I'll keep you informed and if things get bad I expect you to get your frozen ass over here and take care of your girl.**

That's rich seeing how 'his girls' zanpakuto was an ice type too. If I ever get the chance to fight him I'm going to kick his ass three difference ways.

**Signed  
****Captain Renji Abarai  
****PS: Oh Rukia is throwing me a birthday party...god help me and this is you're invite.**

Great just great...a birthday party and if a Kuchiki so throwing it then I had to go. When the Kuchiki's called you had better answer and you better look good wile doing it. Everyone was going to be there and that got me thinking. If everyone seemed to know a lot about me a Momo. Then Damn Aizen could and most likely would use her to get to me but at least everyone was thinking that she and I were less of friends now. She would be safe from having to pick her life over my own I wouldn't allow it. If I had to I'd never talk to her again until the war was over. I could do that for her I loved her that much that I would do that for her. I would block out the one thing in my life that made all this worm and happy in my life of such coldness. I would put myself in hell for her.

"You can come out now Rangiku" I said

"Sorry sir!" She said walking in

I sighed and then looked at her.

"if I tell you something will you keep it to yourself?" I asked knowing full well that she would do anything I told or asked her to do

"I know when to keep things to myself sir." she said with a knowing smile.

I smiled to myself Rangiku really was a prefect lieutenant she would put her life on the line if I needed her to and take anything I told her to her death.

"I do know about Gin." I smiled at here and I hoped she got what I was saying "I've been ordered by the old man to keep my distance from Momo."

All she did was node her head I know she know what was going on.

"I don't want her to be forced to choose between my life and or hers if it comes down to it."

"I understand" She said witha sad smile "I've been removed from the front line because of my past friendship with Gin. Although I'd kill him if he was stupid enough to cross my path. I know that you loved her I just didn't realize that you love her so much that you'd make yourself unhappy."

Rangiku really did know me well.

"Did you get an invite to Renji's birthday party?" I asked her

"I think just about everyone will be there." She smiled

Great I really was in Hell!

* * *

If you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


	14. Chapter 14

It's Time to Party...I Guess

I don't own Bleach

this is by Toshiro

* * *

Everyone was either at or on the way to Renji's birthday party when I finally decided that it was time to get it over with. I had a feeling that I was going to have to drag Rangiku back to the 10th because she would most likely be drunk by now. I sighed and took off my Captain robe I didn't feel like changing so I just walked out of the 10th as is and headed to the damn party. As I walked I just kept thinking about how much I hate parties and that's why I didn't have one for my birthday last year, hell that was why I never really had one.

Sure enough everyone and I mean everyone was here. From kids just entering the 13 Court Guard Squads and even some of those from the world of the living. Ichigo, Chad, Orihime (I would have to go and say hello to her. She was a good friend while Rangiku and I lived with her) and I'll be damned even the quincy Uryū. How in the name of all the gods did they get the quincy back into Soul society; I'll ever know after all I thought that the quincy's hated all of us soul reapers. I noticed that Ichigo and Orihime were holding hands that was nice to see. I had always thought that Ichigo and Rukia would end up together after all he had almost died to save her life and then she going out of her way to help him. I always thought that Renji might be fighting an uphill fight. As I stood alone I couldn't help but but think that it's nice to see that everyone had someone. I realized then that Renji really is the glue in a lot of peoples lives. Everyone seemed to like Renji and that was fine with me. Let him be the favorite caption. As long as he didn't end up like Aizen then I really didn't care.

It was then that I took a good look at myself and everyone around me. I was the only one in my uniform. I looked around the party and saw everyone was dressed up like this was some kind of festival. I almost stuck out like a sore thumb if it wasn't for Byakuya I would be the only one still in uniform so that made me fell a little better. Not much better but a little better. I found the one person I wanted to see most. Momo sure enough would be here but when I found her she didn't look like she was alone. True she was talking to Renji who is her caption and also one of her friend from the academy but it was the third person with her pissed who me off to no end!

It was Izuru Kira and from the way he was walking with her and touching her I thought that she was with him. The way he touched her shoulder as he got her attention I thought I was going to have to kill him. Several people walked by me when I saw Izuru complained about how cold it had just become. I never didn't like the way he looked at her. It always seemed like he was there when she was upset or sad. I always had a feeling that he wanted something more from her then just a friendship. I know that when Momo left the 10th, she had been spending more and more time with him then I would have liked. I was about to march over to them pull her away from the two men give her to Rukia asking her to take Momo out of the party and then go and kick Izuru's ass. But I never got the chance I was about to take a step when something stopped me well more like someone stopped me. But that someone had nothing to do with me.

Rangiku walked over to the three friends, she said something to Momo that made her look mad, sad and then blush. She turned and talked to Renji for a momeant it looked like she was wishing him a happy birthday. She turn put her hand on Izuru forearm and pulled him away from Momo and started to talk to him. That was all well and good but that wasn't what got me to back off. No, no it was when he leaned in and kissed her that I felt floored. I know that the two of them had been drinking a lot together since Gin had come out with what he was really doing. I had no idea at all that it was at this level. Good for them! I bet money that if Gin could see this he wouldn't be at all happy. His old childhood friend and I bet at one point lover and his former lieutenant a item. Momo and Renji smiled at each other and pointed at Izuru as he blushed and rubbed the back of his head. Those three really did make a good team...I make a mental note of that for the war to come.

I was tossing around the thought of walking over and saying hello and happy birthday to Renji and then to just get the hell out. I was already over the party and I could always come up with some other reason to talk to Momo she just looked happy. I mean really happy as she talked to Renji and helped make fun of Izuru. I just didn't have the heart to walk over and stop that. Then as if Rukia know what I wanted she walked up to Renji and took his big hand in both of her small hands and pulled him over to Ichigo. Momo smiled and just walked away. I should have just let her go and follow my orders but I just can't help myself. So I followed her, I had to talk to her, I had to see her up close.

I meet her at a table with all the food on it as she started getting something. That was the first time I noticed what she had on, she was dressed in an emerald green and an icy blue, this was a very different look for her. She normally had such girlie colors on when she wasn't in uniform. I couldn't help but think that this had something to do with me. The emerald almost matched my eyes and the icy blue well that just screamed ice. I couldn't tell if I was pleased or sad by her color change I always loved the way that pinks lit up her face. She was picking up a plate when I walked over to her, picking up a plate of my own. We didn't say anything or even look at each other.

"Captain Hitsugaya" she finaly said to me coldly.

"Lieutenant Hinamori" I said just as cold.

With in that one momeant I know that she still wasn't happy with me. I put the plate down I didn't really want anything to eat. I wasn't really hungry I just wanted to be close to her. And if that meant she wouldn't say more then two words to me I'd take whatever I could get. I wounder if this is what starker is...watching always watching. This was the first time I really looked around me everyone was happy I bet Momo and I looked like the saddest two people in all of soul society. I was going to turn and say something to Momo. But I never got the chance I saw her walk out of the party. I guess she had about all she could take of it too. I don't blame her, hell I had just gotten here and I was ready to go. So I did something stupid I followed her. I caught up to her really fast I mean she was just walking.

"What do you want" She asked wheeling around to look at me

I looked at her I was waiting for the glow of her kido. The last time we had a fight it lead to her and I using kido on each other.

"I wanted to talk to you" I answered truthfully

She didn't look at me she turned around and started to walk away from the party. I ran after her I couldn't help it I had to make this right make her see that as soon as it was safe I was going to take her back to the 10th if she wanted, hell I'd take her back to our childhood home and I'd never leave her side again.

"What do you want to talk to me about!" she asked a little more mad then before "I though we had it all said when I left the 10th."

"Not at all Momo" I said with a smile although my smile had nothing to do with being happy "I never got to give you my side. You just ran off and pulled yourself out of my division. You have no idea what that was like Momo."

This got her to look at me. She turned to look at me with such fire behind her eyes.

"Oh did I offend the great child prodigy; Did I...poor little Momo piss off youngest ever to reach the rank of captain." She said to me with such anger "Tell me how did this bed wetter was ever offend you"

"Don't be stupid Momo! This has nothing to do with me being a captain." I said raising my voice a level "Its about you walking out on me...me Toshiro not on me captain Hitsugaya. Hell if it was just about that I wouldn't be here fighting with you!"

She looked me and started to walk away form again but at least as she walked she talked.

"Sure" She sighed "But let me remind you, you are always going to be Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya."

I couldn't help but pull her to me and I smiled as she let me. I tucked her head under my chin as I held her close I just wanted to touch her and this hug was great and all I needed.

"I need you to understand this Momo" I whispered into her ear "I was ordered to keep my distance from you. I want nothing more then to keep you close and to protect you. But I am a fool and I'm following my orders."

I held onto her I wanted to finish this before I would walk away and not talk to her again until I had to. I had made up my mind that after tonight I would keep my distance and wait for the war to end. If we both lived I would through myself at her feet and begged her to take me back.

"why would he do that?" She asked me "I'm not a feable fool that I can't stand on my own."

"let me ask you this what If Aizen was about to kill me what would you do if Renji ordered you not to go and help me." I know that by me asking her that she would get the point. "Would you follow orders and let me die or would you run to my aid and die and take you're bankia with you?"

I felt the tears fall from her eyes as she pushed her face into my neck. I reached my hands up and played with her hair and her neck. I wanted to just hold her as I told her everything.

"The truth Momo what would you do?" I asked her

"I'd run and help you" She said through her tears

She would look at me so I took her face between my hands and pulled her face up so that she would look at me. I looked her in the eyes watching the tears fall.

"That is why Momo, you and I can no longer be friends." I told her "You have a duty to end the war and if that means my death then let it happen."

"This is so stupid Toshiro." she said "I couldn't just let you die."

When she said my name I pulled her closer to me.

"You may have to" I said to her "Are you ready for that"

I felt her shake her head no.

"Momo..."I tried to get her to look at me "Momo look at me please"

She looked up and then placed her lips on mine. I couldn't help but pull her tighter to me and kiss her harder.

"I'm going to do something very stupid Momo." I said to her as I pulled away from the kiss "Will you let me?"

"Whatever you want Toshiro" she smiled at me gripping my robs "Whatever you want."

I pulled her into a kiss that was unlike any kiss she and I had ever had. If I was going to have to give her up for a time then I was going to leave us with one hell of a memory of this last night. She didn't fight me, no she pulled me tighter to her. I couldn't stop myself I didn't want to but when her hands moved to my hair I felt my will fall to the ground and us flash step away.

* * *

If you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


	15. Chapter 15

What next

I don't own Bleach

this is by Momo

* * *

I opened my eyes and had no idea how I ended up back in my room. Sleeping had left a fog over my memories and it didn't seem like I was going to remember last night until I woke up fully. So I rolled over and I looked around my room. Everything was as it should be. My room wasn't different at all my zanpakutō was where I left it before I left for the party, my uniform was on my desk in the mess that I left it in and closet was still wide open. I still couldn't place it but something was different. I rolled over again and realized that I was naked. I felt myself blush even though I was alone and I pulled the blanket tighter over my body. That woke me up and it all came back like a flood.

**Flash back**

_"Momo..." Toshiro said to me as he tried to get me to look at him "Momo look at me please"_

_I looked at him I couldn't help it. To tell the truth I really never could say no to that man. I felt my will crumble when I looked into his cold green eyes. I don't know what made me but I reached out and placed my lips on his. I felt him go rigid and then he pull me tighter to him. His kiss changed and it became harder._

_"I'm going to do something very stupid Momo." He had said to me as he pulled away from the kiss a look of such passion in his eyes that I know that I would do whatever he wanted from me. "Will you let me?"_

_"Whatever you want Toshiro" I smiled at him as I gripping his robs like a life line. "Whatever you want."_

_He pulled me into a kiss that was unlike any kiss he and I had ever had. We didn't fight each other, no we would fight later I was sure of it. But as of right now I just wanted him. I put my arms around his neck and put my finger in his white hair. And with that he pulled me tighter to his body and we flash stepped away_

**End of flash back**

That's right Toshiro and I came back to the 5th last night and then things... well happened. I remembered him kissing me, touching me and holding me like it was the last time he was ever going to do it. And the truth was last night really was the last time for a very long time if ever again. I smiled and blushed again, I sure was shy about my sex life that was true. Hell I was even saying I had a sex life even when I was alone.

I sighed as I thought more about it, Toshiro did say that he was going to do something stupid. And like the fool I am when it comes to him I let him. I should have know that this was where it was going to end up. How like a man Toshiro really had acted. He really had changed from the little boy that would spit his watermelon seeds at me. And thought I know he's a man I really didn't think that he had it in him. I sighed at the memory of last night one more time. After all it really was a nice one. If I wasn't going to get to be with Toshiro for a long time, then at least last night was a nice memory to keep me company.

I sat up knowing that I was alone I had to get dressed and start my day after all. I'm sure that Renji would wonder where I am, that is if he even was awake at the moment and in the office. If not then it would be because he and Rukia had been up very late. I got dressed as fast as I could and did my hair. As I walked to the office I realized that it was really quite and sure enough I found the office to be empty. I sighed with a little relief I didn't want to explain anything to anyone. I wanted to keep it all to myself.

I sat down and started to get right to work. The paper work wasn't all that bad, after all I kept on top of things. I did it happily after all it was all part of the job. and I did it with a smile because it kept my mind off things. Like Toshiro holding my tightly in his arms and whispering that he loved me. The feel of his fingers in my hair as we just laid in the bed side by side. I had to push it out of my mind I had a job to do. I couldn't spend the day remembering last night.

I started back to the paper work I read one and stopped when I realized what I was reading. This was transfer paper work it looked like Rukia was being sent to us. The only reason they would do that is because Renji and Rukia were going to get married. That was a nice thought, that even in this time of war people where still trying to make a normal happy life. I wanted nothing but the best for anyone that could be with the one that they loved the most in this life. It was stuff like this that made me wish that I really could have Toshiro. And I mean really, really have him. I leaned back in my chair and looked out the window and watched the world move by.

"What do I do next?" I said to myself as a cloud went by that looked like a dragon to me and I thought of Toshiro "Do I act as if none of this ever happened?"

As I thought about what had happened I started to feel a little over heated and the room started to spin. So I did the first thing that I could think of I laid my face on the desk it felt cool that's just what I needed. I don't know how long I sat there because at some point the door slid open.

"Did you sleep in the office Momo?" Renji asked walking in the room.

"No sir" I said sitting up "I just got a little over heated that's all."

Renji walked over to me. I felt so small standing next to him (after all I always felt small next to Renji) as he put his hand on my forehead.

"You do feel a little worm." He said as he looked over me "And now that I get a good look at you, you do look a little green. Did you have to much fun last night Momo.?"

I shock my head and gave a small smile.

"Come to think of it the last time I saw you...you where talking to captain Hitsugaya" Renji went on to say "you both looked like you would rather be any place but talking to each other."

"It wasn't a very fun talk" I forced a smile "but other then that you're party was alot of fun, wasn't it."

Renji walked away and sat down at his desk with a sigh.

"Did you do all the paper work?" He asked me with a look of shock "How late am I? What time is it?"

That was the first time I got to look at the time.

"You're not late at all." I smiled at his worried look on his face "I was just up way to early and wanted something to do that's all. By the way would you like me to have a room ready for Rukia or will she be sleeping with you?"

Renji looked at me and then at the pile of paper work. I watched him blush it was always funny to see a man as big as Renji blush.

"Did they really push that through so fast?" Renji laughed "Byakuya sure isn't waisting any time now is he? As far as I know she'll be in my room but I'll ask her tonight at dinner."

I nodded my head and gave a small smiled. I was happy for them, after all they had grown up in hell and then grew apart. As I think about it I think that when Rukia was almost put to death was what started them on the path of finding there way back to each other. It was nice that they where still able to end up together. It gave me hope that maybe just maybe I would find my way back into Tishiro's arms.

"Momo you really do look green" Renji stated "Go get some sleep you look like death."

The truth was I felt bad and I wanted to go back to sleep. I wasn't about to say no to Renji if he was going to let me get a few hours of sleep. I needed my head and headed for the door.

"I can't sleep for to long I have the lieutenants meeting with the old man today" I told him

"Crap" Renji sighed "That means I'm going to be in meetings all day tomorrow. I really do hate that part of being a captain"

I pushed the door open and looked at Renji over my shoulder.

"You know that it was part of being a captain" I stated "It's all part of having the robe and the badge."

"Yeah yeah" he sighed "I'll make sure you're awake in time for the meeting."

"Thanks"

I walked into my room and as soon as I was on my bed I felt like I passed out.

* * *

If you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


	16. Chapter 16

Where is Momo?

I don't own Bleach

this is by Toshito

* * *

Three months had passed sense I had last been alone with Momo and I started to realize that I hadn't seen her walk out of the last two of the lieutenants meeting. On top of that I hadn't gotten a report from Renji in two weeks either. The last one said that she had been ill a lot but that she was getting over it. And to top it off I started to noticed that Rangiku had all but stopped talking to me. Something was wrong and no one was telling me what it was. I had just about all I could take when I looked over at Renji and and then at Izuru and saw the mad looks that they where giving me. I made up my mind that as soon as the meeting was over I was going to demand to know what was going on from one of them.

"That is all...dismisses" Old man Yamamoto-Genryūsai told us "Captain Hitsugaya I wish to speak to you!"

I looked over at the other captains and a few of them seemed to know what was about to happen. I was surprises when Renji and captain Retsu Unohana didn't leave the room as well.

"I've asked the 5th and 4th division captains to sit in on this meeting as well" The old man explained to me "As this meeting has to do with 5th division's lieutenant..."

"And Captain Retsu Unohana?" I asked "Why is the captain of the 4th sitting in on this little meeting?"

I saw Renji out of the corner of my eye he looked pissed I think I saw him take a step towards me. I was very grateful that Retsu Unohana was there she placed her hand on Renji's shoulder and he seemed to come down a bit. I really didn't want to fight Renji but if he was about to pick a fight with me then I was sure going to hand him his ass.

"Captain Retsu Unohana is here becuse she is the captain of the 4th." The old man explained.

I felt cold, cold even for me. I mean I'm always cold but I became very worried what did Momo and the captain of the 4th have to do with each other. Momo...something was very wrong with Momo.

"What is going on" I asked after a few moments "What does this have to do what Mo...lieutenant Hinamori?"

"Like you don't know" Renji said under his breath "This is all your fault."

"enough" the old man said to Renji "Tell me Captain Hitsugaya what was the last order I gave you."

It hit me then the old mad know that I had told Momo everything."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked knowing that this was going to piss someone off I didn't really care at this point "I have done what you asked me to do sir"

"You're a liar Toshiro" Renji snapped "I know for a fact that you haven't always kept away. Three...Months...ago you where alone with Momo."

I turned around and looked at Renji how did he know that it was three months ago. I looked at the old man who looked mad and at the same time a little worried but about what I couldn't place.

"Where is Momo?" I asked this time not caring that I was not acting like a captain "You know what's going on tell me!"

"Momo has been placed on medical leave" Captain Unohana said to me "We are working on a way for her to still fight in the war without any harm coming to her we have Kisuke Urahara working on it."

I looked at Renji I was mad at him and I started walking right to him I was going to kill him.

"How could you let her get hurt" I yelled at Renji "It's your job to protect those under you!"

"You think this is all my doing?" Renji asked "You know what go see her yourself she's staying in they home you two grew up in. I'm sure that the two of you will have a lot to talk about once you see each other."

And with that he turned around and walked out of the room. I didn't know what to make of this new bit of information why would Momo be on medical leave and back in the rukongai. I looked at the other two captains in the room captain Unohana just nodded her head at the old man and smiled at me.

"I think you should go and see Momo" she said to me "She wanted to see you right when I put her on medical leave but I wasn't sure if you needed to know yet. Maybe this will give you a greater reason to fight."

And she too then walked out of the room. I turned to the old man he looked mad at me but at the same time it looked like he understood what I felt for Momo.

"Go to your home and see Momo" He told me "She's going to need you...although if Urahara isn't able to find a way for Momo to fight in the war then you and I will be having a nice little talk about what you have done!"

"Yes sir" I sighed

Walking out of that meeting hard. I still had no idea what was going on but I was about to find out. I walked to the gate that lead to the rukongai it had been a year or two sence I want back to the home I grew up in. I was alittle worried about what I was going to see when I found Momo. I walked into the yard of our old home and there with her back to me was Momo. She was dressed in a light blue and she was walking around the garden humming to herself.

"Momo?" I asked

She stopped dead in her tracks but she wouldn't turn around to look at me.

"Toshiro?" She asked "What are you doing here?"

"I had a little meeting today and they told me you where put on medical leave" I explained to her "But you don't look hurt or sick...why would they put you on medical leave?"

She still wouldn't turn and look at me and this had me worried that maybe something had happened to her and it had scars her face or something I wasn't sure.

"No I'm not hurt or sick." she said looking over her shoulder at me "In fact I'm very healthy. Infact captain Unohana says that I'm doing very well and that everything is going as it should."

"Then why in gods name are you on medical leave then?" I demaned of her as I walked over to her and grabing her arm "You need to tell me what the hell is going on and you need to do it now."

She turned around and looked at me. This was when I got a good look at her and I felt my mouth drop.

"You don't get put on medical leave just because you're hurt or sick" She told me as she took my hand from me "You also get put on leave when you're pregnant too."

She placed my hand on her stomach as she smiled up at me. I didn't know what to do or say this wasn't what I thought had happened...what was going on. Now everything made sense to me Momo was needed to help win the war and if they couldn't find a way to have her fight she wouldn't be fighting. I also understood why everyone was mad at me too.

"How did this happon?" I asked her the stupid question

"Well you see when a man and a women love each other..." She started to explain

She laughed a little at me. I could tell that she found that my reaction was a funny one.

"That's not what I meant?" I snapped at her "What I mean was...how did you end up...pregnant?"

"Remember Renji's birthday party?" She asked me

That was all she needed to say to me. Now everything made since to me and I was lost...I had no idea what to do now and I don't think that she know either.

* * *

If you don't like it Don't Tell Me!


End file.
